Barrister Babu: The Journey Ahead

Their First Kiss

Anirudh Roy Choudhary was a barrister... he fought in the court, he fought for the law, for the country, but he never knew that he had to fight with his own heart someday.  

He had closed himself off ever since Bondita returned to India. However, he didn't know if he could do it any longer. He was tired. So tired. 

When her lips touched his, he just didn't have the energy in him to fight with his feelings anymore. He brought his hand to her cheek, and felt tears adorn his eyes. How much longer could he push her away for? 

The world felt like it froze in time, and it was just him and his Bondita here right now. 

As the tears rolled down his cheeks, he kissed her back, very gently, very preciously. Bondita's hands reached to his bare chest. They were shaking. She was very nervous. 

However, the shake of her hands was enough for Anirudh to break the kiss. 

He looked away immediately, as if he was guilty. He had always been so in tune with what she needed and when she needed it. She had gotten ahead of herself and kissed him, but the shake of her hands showed him that she was not ready for any of this. 

How could he have allowed it? 

"Pati Babu," Bondita whispered and lifted her fingers to his jawline. "Did I do something wrong?" 

"No Bondita, you didn't do anything wrong," he told her, unable to meet her eyes. "Let's go to sleep." 

Bondita, who felt her heart hammering, nodded. 

He rested his head on the rock hard floor, and used his wet shirt to cover his chest. Even though his shirt was wet, the hut was lit up by the fire so it was warm enough. Bondita lay down next to him and turned her back to him, touching her lips gently with her fingers. 

She was blushing. She had been afraid, but she didn't know why. She had full faith that her Pati Babu would never do anything to hurt her. Maybe she was just nervous because all of this was a new experience to her. Slowly, she knew that she would come to enjoy these experiences of love, but right now, even Bondita felt scared. 

"Pati Babu," Bondita whispered. 

Her back was turned to him and his to hers. 

"Hmmm?" he asked. 

She turned her head slightly and said, "Thank you." 

Anirudh whose heart was still hammering, didn't say anything. He just had tears in his eyes. His Bondita's lips had been so soft, and he wanted to know about her body even more. The kiss had unlocked so many emotions in him and it felt overwhelming. Those emotions were all coming out in the form of tears. 

While he felt guilty that he might have rushed things, he also felt a warmth in his heart that hadn't been there for seven years. The fire that was ignited outside was only a representation of the fire that was raging through his heart. 

"Pati Babu," Bondita said again. 

"Hmmm?" he asked again. 

"Can I hug you?" she asked nervously, and turned to face him completely. 

He was shocked by her request, but he just straightened his arm out. Bondita immediately leaned into his chest and placed her arm around his stomach. His arms wrapped around her body protectively. 

The wet shirt he was using to wrap himself was cold, but it felt healing on her warm cheeks. 

"Pati Babu," she whispered, once again. 

"Hmmm?" he replied again.

"Why are you sad?" she asked him. 

He forgot how Bondita could sense his pain from a mile away. 

He smiled. "I'm not sad Bondita," he said to her. 

"You're crying," she whispered to him. "Just because I wasn't looking at you, doesn't mean I don't know." 

"I'm not crying," he said, and laughed. 

"Don't lie to me Pati Babu," Bondita responded. "Did you not like it?" She felt shy to bring up the kiss. 

"I shouldn't have," he finally murmured honestly. 

Bondita lifted her head from his chest and furrowed her eyebrows, glaring into his eyes, her arm pressing against his chest. 

"Why?" she asked, feeling upset. 

"It's because you weren't ready," Anirudh said. 

"Pati Babu, you're so protective of me, that in your eyes I will never be ready!" Bondita said loudly, now getting really angry. There were fresh tears in her eyes.  "I'm ready Pati Babu!"

Anirudh looked into Bondita's eyes and wiped the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

"What's the point of wiping these tears when you always make me cry?" she asked loudly. "Why are you doing this? Why do you treat me like I'm a doll that can break so easily? Why are you so protective of me?" 

"Because..." he whispered, fresh tears forming in his eyes again, but his words weren't making it up past his throat. 

"Why Pati Babu? Why?" she demanded, sobbing. "Why can't you stop worrying about me? Why can't you let yourself be free with me? You freed me, but you tied yourself up in return Pati Babu! Why?" 

She was hurt. Not because he did anything to hurt her, but rather because he was hurting himself. And the pain he caused himself was the biggest pain he could give to her. 

Anirudh looked at her, shocked at her outburst, his heart melting with every word she said. 

"If I get hurt then let me get hurt! Why do you have to worry? Why Pati Babu? Just because I'm scared doesn't mean I'm not ready! Let me decide if I'm ready!" she screeched, and she propped herself up even higher, using his chest as support, her nails digging gently into his skin. "Did you make me independent so you could decide my life for me? You're always pushing me away! Why can't you just let your ideas go? Why can't you just be free with me?" 

Tears were flowing down her cheeks rapidly now, and her chest was heaving up and down as she cried. Seeing her cry like this was making the tears roll down his own cheeks even faster. Her outburst was correct. He knew that she was absolutely right in everything she said to him.

"Why?" she cried again, hitting his chest gently with her hand, looking defeated. The look in her eyes broke Anirudh's heart. "Why... why... why..." 

Anirudh brought his hands up to her hair and answered her, "Because I love you."

That was all she needed to hear. Fresh tears formed in her eyes, finally listening to the words that her ears had been aching to hear. 

Those three words had brought her so much joy, it moved her heart so much that she had no time to think about body consciousness or shame. All she knew how to give at that moment was love.

Her Pati Babu loved her.  

So without the slightest hint of a thought attacking her mind, she leaned down towards him and kissed him again, this time more confidently, this time more boldly. This time with no fear, but only with love... and she lost herself completely in that kiss.

Feeling Bondita kiss him with such freedom, Anirudh's hands tangled themselves inside her hair and he responded just as freely this time, a smile forming on his lips as he kissed her back with so much intensity and passion. 

Tears were flowing down his cheeks again, but this time they weren't tears that burdened him. This time, they were tears of happiness. 

He could finally be free with the one he loved immeasurably.

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Thank you so much for reading and for all of your support! Please let me know your thoughts. ❤️