Ruining the Family Name

Khloe Is My Baby Daddy

Khloe's P.O.V
"OH MY JESUS H DICKS! I'M FUCKING HOME!!" I exited the car pretending that I didn't just scream. The fam and I went to San Francisco for like a day or two, but I wanted to go home early to see my favorite little pricks, aka Kendall and Kylie. I ran inside the Jenner's House seeing Kylie then Kendall sitting on some girl's lap. "Khloe!!" Ken and Ky said whilst attacking me with hugs and kisses. After like 10 minutes of I guess sister love I finally looked at the blonde girl in front of me. "Hello." British? Really? "Hi, so umm who are you?" She laughed. "I'm Cara Delevingne. Kendall's girlfriend." THE FUCKING EYEBROWS GIRL THAT KENDALL NEVER DID SHUT UP ABOUT!!!! "Kendall why the fuck didn't you tell me you're gay?" I looked at Kendall who is blushing. "I'm not the only gay Jenner here too." She pointed at Kylie. "Wait, both of you are gay and neither of you told me? I guess dad and I didn't have to give you girls the birds and the bees talk." The four of us laughed. "Well I'm going to make this quick and short. Cara, if you hurt Kendall I'm literally going to fucking chase you with my pet fucking pigeon named my fist. Kay? Kay." The British girl looked more than scared so that's good. It actually was obvious that Kendall was a closeted lesbian. Nobody in the family payed attention to the fact that she only talked about girls and not boys. I didn't expect Kylie to be gay though. I mean she never did speak about anyone she may be interested in. She used to, but around Justin Shit Bieber's birthday she kinda shut out everyone. The only person that ever entered her room and exited was Kendall. The whole family knew something was going on but all of us blind fucks just thought it was some kind of teenager thing. "Anyways, Kylie are you dating anyone?" I asked wanting to get the scoop about the girls. "I was dating Selena Gomez." Her voice sounded like she got hit by a fucking truck. "What happened?" I didn't even know that she was dating Selena. I wanted to ask her when she did date her but I would rather know why they broke up. "She cheated on me for Justin." That sounds like something she would do. "Where is she?" Ky managed to laugh. "If you think you're killing her, you're not."
"By yourself." Cara chimed in. I smiled at the blonde. "I'm not going to kill her. I'm simply going to chase her with my fucking pigeon... With Cara." Cara laughed. "Can my fist be named lion? I mean it only makes sense." She showed me her fist having a tattooed lion on it. "That's a brilliant idea. Kendall if you want you can have a fist named crabs because of that STD you had one time." A few things happened when I said that. For instance, Kendall gasped while Cara looked like her eyes were literally going to fall out of her head and Kylie well laughed. "I did not have a STD!!!" Everyone in the room laughed. "Just a joke kiddo."

Cara's P.O.V (it's been a while lol)
I'm warming up to Khloe more than I expected to. I mean we have a lot in common surprisingly. After what felt like hours of talking the four of us decided to go shopping which is just a shit idea all around but we didn't really give a damn about countless of paps flashing their stupid camera's and asking weird questions. All of us took Khloe's cara having KoKo drive with Ky beside her and Kenny and I in the back. "We're going on a trip to see a mans dick!"
"All of this is just way too exciting for me to handle."
"I'm so excited I can literally fill my clitoris doing fucking splits."
I never laughed so hard at what someone said. Khloe is truly the funniest Kardashian ever. "Khloe you are so weird." I said whilst laughing. "And you're brave." I raised my brow at that. "What do you mean by that?" I honestly am worried I did something wrong. "You're dating my sister. She's a fucking handful. I mean one time she came to me and went "Khloe, how do you use this tampon thing? I'm having trouble putting it up in there." And that one time where she-"
"KHLOE!" Kylie and I were laughing our asses off. I looked over at my girlfriend seeing her blush like crazy. "Aww babe no need to be embarrassed." I scooted over to her and hugged her. "Kendall I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Koko said. "Its fine." Ken laughed. "If you want I can talk shit about Kylie." Khloe laughed. "That would make me feel better." Kenny said. I released Ken let her rest her head on my shoulder. "Fuck you guys." Kylie said. "I'm just kidding with you. Besides, you always did know what you were doing when it came to things. Except school. You was a fucking train wreck that never ended." Khloe stated. Kylie and I have something in common. "True." Ky agreed. "I want you girls to know that I'm the funniest and the most fun Kardashian there is. To prove my point I have now officially decided that we are going on a fucking hike to Jesus's cockpit, also known as a shitty basketball game that is going to have all of us like "fuck" when we all realize that it was a bad idea to come along on KoKo's fucking hike." Khloe said with expression that I would die for. "Khloe what the hell." I laughed. "Listen. I AM YOUR FUCKING BABY DADDY SO LISTEN AND AGREE TO MEH!" Khloe yelled having us all in tears from laughter. "So I guess we aren't going shopping anymore?" Only Kendall would be disappointed about that. "We can shop for basketball jerseys once we get to the stadium, okay sweetie?" Khloe said in a mother voice. "We should play truth or dare once we get there!!!!!" Kylie yelled with excitement in her voice. "OMFG YES!" All of us hollered. "If we get kicked out I'm going to punt cunt all of you." Punt cunt? Khloe is the weirdest person ever. "I thought that was football. Not basketball." Kylie laughed. "No dumbass, football is the sport with all the bases and shit." I said with the best fake American accent I can do. "No bitches, that's called hockey. God, none of you know your sports." Kendall said with a hint of a white girl accent. The conversation continued like that for 15 minutes. My stomach hurt so bad from all of this laughing. "I'm sooooooo excited for this basketball game." Khloe clapped her hands in excitement. "It's the Lakers vs the Nets by the way." She added. "I hope the Lakers win." I said. "Same. That's why all of us are going to look like fucking idiots. Meaning we are all going to look like the average sports fan dad." Khloe certainly isn't afraid to embarrass herself. "Aren't you afraid to get embarrassed?" Kylie asked. "I don't care if I get called a rude bitch for trying to hang out with my two favorite sisters and my new favorite best friend." I smiled when she called me her best friend to be honest. "This is going to be so fun." Ky yelled. I kinda lost interest in the already faint conversation. I then kissed Kendall's hair having her look up at me. "I love you." I whispered. "I love you too." She giggled. God, I love this girl so much.
Author's Note: I loved making this chapter so much. Love you guys xx
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