CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
One red line. Again.
I stared at the pregnancy test kit for a few seconds. Kumurap ako sa kawalan. Bawat buwan, mayroon akong PT na nakahanda. And every time, it showed me one red line indicating there was nothing inside my womb.
Bawat test kits, umaasa akong mayroon na sa sinapupunan ko. Umaasa pa rin akong mag-conceive sa natural na paraan kahit mababa ang tyansa. Hope is the only thing that I have.
My spirits were crushed once again. Sadness filled my heart seeing the result of the test.
Naiiyak na naman ako. Bawat buwan na lang, umiiyak ako. I wiped away the tears rolling in my cheek. Binuhay ko ang faucet at naghinaw ng kamay.
A gentle arms were wrapped in my belly. Agad kong naamoy ang pabango ni Zak. Nauna akong gumising kaysa sa asawa ko para isagawa ang ritwal. I don't have the heart to wake him up just to see another negative result.
"N-negative..." My voice cracked.
Hinarap ako ni Zak sa kanya. Tinitigan niya ako sa mata. "Your heart's desire and mine will come at the right time, baby. I believe it." Pinunasan niya ang basa kong pisngi. "For now, I'll be your baby, first."
Tumango ako, pero may parte sa aking binalot muli ng lungkot. May parte sa aking nawawalan nang pag-asa, ilansunod ng walang laman ang aking sinapupunan, baka hindi talaga ako nararapat maging isang ina. I bit my lip. I hate when undesirable thoughts were filling up my mind.
Bumuntong - hininga si Zak. He knew me really well. "Come here, let it out." Inupo niya ako sa sink ng banyo namin. Pinagparte niya ang legs ko at pinagkasya niya ang kanyang sarili. Zak hugged me tenderly like I was a porcelain doll.
Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit. I cried on his bared chest. Walang imik na hinaplos niya ang aking likod hanggang kumalma ako. Zak was very understanding. Hindi rin nito dinadagdagan ang pressure kong magkaroon ng anak.
Hinalik - halikan niya ako sa noo, dinampian niya rin ng munting halik ang kabuuan ng aking mukha.
"Are you okay now?" asked Zak. He has a gentle smile curved on his lips.
Sinuklian ko ang kanyang ngiti. "I'm o-okay. T-thank you, love. I love you!" I kissed him on his forehead down to his lips.
"Mahal na mahal din kita, Mrs. Petrovich."
Ngumuso ako. Ang bantot talaga pakinggan, pero mahal na mahal ko si Zak. Hehe.
"Pero p-paano kung hindi talaga tayo magka-anak, Zak?" pang-ilang ulit ko nang naitanong sa kanya ang mga katagang iyon.
Pinisil niya ang aking pisngi. "With or without, remember I love you and always will. It won't make you less of a woman. It won't make you less of a wife." Zak smiled even more, his green eyes were melting my insides. "And I'll never get tired of reminding you that, baby."
Naiiyak akong ngumiti. Zak's assurance never failed me. But I still want to give him a baby. Alam kong magiging mabuting ama ang asawa ko.
Piningot niya ang tungki ng ilong ko. "I'm your baby, okay? And you're my baby."
I pouted. Ang laki kasing baby ni Zak, pero tama naman siya. Baby pa rin siya, bini-breastfeed ko naman ito kahit wala namang milk ang boobs ko. Hehe.
"M-magsayaw kaya tayo sa Obando?" tanong ko sa kanya.
Ipinatong ni Zak ang kanyang ulo sa leeg ko. "You want ba? Anything you want, baby." Siniksik niya ako at hinalik - halikan. Akala ko may lahing vampire ang asawa ko. I shook my head.
BINABASA MO ANG
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