Broken Promises [Kakashi x Reader]

~ 1 ~

**Quick note. Cursive is the same flashback, normal is happening at different times**

I walked through the streets of Konoha with unusual bliss. I couldn't wait to get home and tell my dad about what the sensei had told me at the Academy today. I sighed when I remembered my boring combat against Obito in today's spar that I obviously won. If only sensei had put me up against someone stronger maybe he would have told me to take the exam sooner and not next year. But that didn't matter really. I would be the first one in my whole class to become a chunin once I passed the test, and I was beyond excited to tell the news to dad.  

I wanted to tell him how everyone praised me and what Obito's face looked like when I beat him. How could a clumsy boy like him become a ninja? In my opinion, he probably wouldn't make it.

"Kakashi..." Rin called me with a heavy voice, trying to reach for me. 

"Let me go," I said, trying not to sound harsh but instead, I sounded devoid of any emotion. She hesitated, but her hand let go of my anbu vest.

"Kakashi..." she called me again, this time more painfully.

I bit my inner cheek. I told her to stay away from me, I pushed myself away from her and ignored her more than I used to do. Yet she was still persistent. Why couldn't she be like (Y/n) and let me go? Why couldn't she hate me as she did? She and (Y/n) almost died because of me. Obito died because of me. Why couldn't she understand that she was better off without being friends with me? 

"Rin," (Y/n)'s voice sounded behind me, but I was already walking away, both hands deep into my pockets "He just needs a little more time" she sounded comforting. But I knew. I knew she hated me. I would hate me too. 

I couldn't help but take quicker steps, hopping from one leg to another, when I wondered about what would there be for dinner. 'Should I ask dad for something special now that I've been recommended to become a chunin? Maybe we would go out fishing and camping!' I thought, my excitement only getting bigger as I finally reached my house. I stopped jumping around and opened the door. 

The house was strangely dark, not a single light was on. A cold breeze flew inside the house from behind me until I closed the door. 'Maybe we'll go fishing tomorrow, it's already a little late'  I shrugged, still excited to tell my father about it and to be praised by him.

"Dad?" I called him, excitement still noticeable in my voice.

I gave in. The guilt and pain didn't disappear but Rin and (Y/n) wouldn't stop trying to talk to me. So I finally gave in... I finally fucking gave in, and now, (Y/n) sat on her best friend's grave who I had killed—again.

'What the fuck am I doing' was one of the questions that ran through my mind over and over again, all day, every day. Not following the rules killed my father, and following them has made me kill two of my teammates. 'What am I doing...' I asked myself again, clenching my fists while I stared at (Y/n)'s back from afar.

I had been avoiding her ever since I killed Rin. I can't bring myself to look her in the face. I don't even know how to talk to her. I don't even deserve to talk to her. I killed her two best friends, now she must truly hate me. I do hate myself.

I might kill her too. I don't want her close to me. She should stay away from me. 

She probably will.

Light taps began sounding against the wood of my house, meaning that the clouds that had been over Konoha the whole day were starting to let the rain fall.