Broken Promises [Kakashi x Reader]

~ 8 ~

Sorry that this took a little longer, I got my vaccine shot and had a high fever for a few days, and then I broke my ankle so... yeah. But now I guess I have more time to write :') I also made a playlist for this book on youtube, I'll put the link on a comment here so you can go there easily.

I gasped for air, but this time I wasn't terrified. Anxious perhaps, of seeing her again, alive. Or maybe not, maybe we would both be dead, elsewhere, but at least I'd see her again.

I jolted awake, sitting up on the bed with a sudden movement as I looked to my sides, looking out for her. But unlike last time, she wasn't lying asleep next to me. Instead, she sat with tired lids while she rubbed her messy hair. She seemed to have woken up not long ago. 

Due to my sudden movement, she turned her attention to me, but that was all she could do before I pulled her in a strong hug. She fell on me, waking up all of a sudden while I wrapped my arms around her tightly, rubbing my masked face on her head as I felt her moving body, warm and living body, against me. 

"Kakashi?" she asked, her voice muffled by my chest. 

I opened my mouth, determined to tell her that I loved her as I had done before. But then I remembered, to herself right now I had never said it. To this (Y/n) I had never said many things I did say other times. I hadn't had some conversations with her, I hadn't done certain things with her.

I tightened my hold on her because I didn't even remember anymore what I had lived and what I had not. What she remembered and what she did not. I felt things for her because I had lived things with her. But they were things this (Y/n) didn't know happened. It didn't change my feelings, because the truth was that I had loved her even longer than I was aware of. But it did change my memories. It did mess with my head. What was real and what wasn't? What did we talk about and what didn't we? My chest fluttered and then I realized a couple of tears had slid down my eyes. 

"Kakashi... I can't... breathe..." she exaggerated in a choked voice. I loosened my tight embrace but didn't let go of her "Thanks" she breathed in "Mmh... are you okay?"

"No" I answered honestly, having mixed feelings. 

I was happy to see her, to be with her again. Happy to know that if she died and I didn't, I could still go back in time. But sad and scared because it still didn't change the fact that we both would die. It didn't change the fact that we still had a mission to go on today. 

At my completely transparent answer, she seemed to relax in my arms, maybe realizing that I wasn't trying to tease her. Her arms wrapped around me as well and she leaned on my chest. 

"Want to talk about it?" she asked sweetly, and I had to frown when I felt my eyes get wet. 

"It won't change anything..." I said, as last time, even though I told her what was happening she insisted on going through the mission. After all, the outcome ended up being the same. This time it was her arms that tightened around me. 

"Keeping it to yourself won't either" she said, creating a lump in my throat by the truth in her words. 

She was right. If I told her, she died. If I didn't, she died. If we talked to the Hokage, she died. Whatever I did, she'd die. So I cried. 

"I don't want to go," I said in tears. When she heard I was crying her arms immediately tightened around me even more, although it only made the stinging feeling in my eyes and chest sharper "I don't want you to go"

"Where would I go?" she asked with a soft tone, her own voice strained as well. 

And again, I couldn't help myself and told her what was happening. I told her how no matter what we did, we died. I told her the pain and suffering I went through, and how I'd do anything to make us both stay in the safety of Konoha.