Broken Promises [Kakashi x Reader]

~ 7 ~

"AH!" I woke up all of a sudden, jolting up my body in my bed. 

My skin felt hot, sweaty. My heartbeat and breaths were quick and heavy, and I could still feel the terror flowing through my veins along with them. I was in fact still so shocked that I continued to scream for a while even though I wasn't aware of it. 

"Kakashi!" (Y/n)'s voice sounded next to me, having woken up from my scream. Then her hand gripped my shoulder, making me stop panicking. 

I looked at her and then around me, seeing that I was back in her room. But even though I knew there was no danger around, it wasn't that easy to calm down. Not when I still felt my skin burning from the explosion. The blinding light that melted and exploded (Y/n)'s body. Her face, looking at me with scared yet accepting eyes. As if apologizing. I couldn't get rid of the feeling again. Of dying and seeing her die once more.

"It's okay, it's okay" (Y/n) said, turning my body to her from my shoulders for me to look at her "It was just a nightmare. You're okay" she said, trying to make me look at her. 

I did, I moved my eyes to her face, watching her from up close. She seemed a little sleepy, but she was still as beautiful as ever, with not a single burn or scratch on her face. Only a slight frown that showed her concern. I couldn't help my hand and took it to her cheek as if to make sure she really was okay and in front of me, and that this wasn't any kind of dream or illusion. But I could feel the warmth of her cheek, her impure yet soft cheek. Her eyes flickered from my face to my hand, and then her smaller hand laid over mine.

"I'm here" she added when she saw my heavy frown, looking back at my eyes with a reassuring soft smile that made my frown tremble. 

I looked at her (e/c) eyes again, watching her observe me too, and it was then when a scary thought came to mind. A possibility that there would never be an end to this. That I wouldn't be able to avoid seeing her die in front of me time after time, that there was nothing I could do about it. If at least I'd die first and save myself the suffering of seeing her like that... I bit my lip, my frown turning even more into a sad one when I realized that even then I would still come back again, and thus my suffering wouldn't end. 

I closed my eyes and hugged (Y/n). She tensed for a second and hesitated, but in the end hugged me as well, her arms wrapping around me safely in a tight hug as her hands caressed my back reassuringly. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, referring to the 'nightmare' she thought I had. 

Although I wished it was a nightmare. It felt like one, but it was a reality, there was no doubt in that. I didn't even understand how in hell was it possible that every time I died I came back to life the morning of the day of my death. And although it was a horrid sensation, it at least allowed me to save (Y/n) and see her again. Maybe that was why this happened. Maybe I was able to come back so I could save her.

"No" I answered shortly.

"That's okay," she said after a little while, her hand still moving up and down on my back soothingly. And then she didn't say anything else, nor moved from the embrace. She just stayed there, sitting with me and letting me hug her tight, and tighter when my heart remembered what it was to lose her once and again "Are you..." she said after a long time of silence "going to let go of me?" she asked hesitating a little. 

"I don't want to" I answered as shortly and serious as before, not moving an inch. She hesitated again, but then her face rested on my shoulder, hugging me more comfortably.

"That's okay too," she said softly near my ear. 

She let her body fall on mine in a more cozy hug as if it wasn't that much of a hug but both of us just holding each other close. She kind of brushed her cheek on my shoulder, snuggling to me too, which made me hug her tighter and bury my face on her shoulder, inhaling her sweet scent.