Broken Promises [Kakashi x Reader]

~ 9 ~

"Kakashi..." she muttered half-asleep with a soft sleepy voice that made my heart tremble. Her voice brought shivers up my spine, and if I could listen to her saying my name all day, I would. I looked at her, only falling even more in love when I saw her adorable sleepy face. And when her beautiful eyes opened my whole body froze, as if time wasn't ticking by anymore. Then she laid her hand on my cheek, caressing it ever so slightly. And my chest felt so warm she almost brought tears to my eyes. But for the first time in my life, they were tears brought from happiness. She smiled softly, eyes closing "I really like this," she mumbled, her fingers traveling to the hairs of my nape, bringing chills down my spine. 

I was so mesmerized by her that it took me a little while to react. Instead, I could only stay there, staring at her angelical smiling face, with her messy hair from sleeping in my bed. 

"You're so beautiful when you wake up..." I told her, admiring her. Until I couldn't hold myself anymore and closed the small distance in between us, laying kisses as soft as her over her neck. She giggled momentarily when the tip of my nose tickled her skin. 

"Kakashi..." she called me again, and once again my whole body froze in elation "How long have you been awake?" she asked, not moving and letting me continue with my kisses and cuddles. 

"I haven't slept" I simply said, pulling her body closer while I continued with my sparse kisses.

"Why?" she said, this time the airiness and lovely softness in her voice gone and replaced with slight seriousness and worry. 

I stop my caresses and kisses but kept my mouth and nose on the crook of her neck, buried in her. She tried to look down at me. 

"I couldn't," I admitted, her hand now on the back of my hair, making me close my eyes as I sniffed her naturally alluring scent. But I knew that wasn't much of an answer "I prefer watching over you" I added, finally dragging myself out of her neck to look at her. Her eyes and brows turned into a faint scowl. 

"I'm alright, Kakashi, you know I'll be here when you wake up..." she said, staring deep into my eyes. 

"No, I don't know. You might not" 

Her eyes looked at me with sadness and slight concern, but I didn't mind. Just then they flickered away for a second, fleeing from my gaze. 

"Kakashi," she called my name once again, to what I answered with a low 'mhm?' while circling her with my arms more comfortably "How many times have I... died? How many times have we both died?" she said, and although she didn't say it I could tell what she was thinking of. I could tell how she was probably remembering that time when I was too shocked to even get out of bed. I sighed.

"Too many" I simply answered, because honestly, I didn't know and preferred not to know. I just knew they were a number of deaths nobody should go through. Not her as the dying person, nor me as the person who watched her die. 

She stayed in silence for a while, perhaps deciding whether to ask for a specific number or accept my answer. And she seemed to decide for the latter when her fingers continued to do soothing caresses on my hair near my ear. 

"You said you tried many things to prevent it, right?" she asked, to what I nodded. 

"No matter what I did... we both died" I answered, tightening my embrace around her body. She hugged me back, letting me bury my face on her chest and neck again while she laid a kiss on my head and continued with her caresses "I even..." I began, a slight lump forming on my throat from the stress of thinking about back then. I instantly regretted saying anything, but (Y/n) wouldn't let it go now "I even killed myself to go back" I could feel her body froze under me for a moment before her arms tightened around me.