Broken Promises [Kakashi x Reader]

~ 4 ~

I immediately ran out of my apartment. And although I thought (Y/n) must have been alright, I still felt my chest filled with anxiety and agony. I still couldn't get rid of the feeling of losing her so terribly and miserably, of not being able to do anything about it. But she was alive, I knew she was. And I knew I had to find a way to avoid going on this mission. 

I didn't care if what I had was a dream, a premonition, or reality itself. I just knew I couldn't allow her to go. And my conviction only became stronger when I saw her happily chatting with both gatekeepers of Konoha. For a second, seeing her smiling and joking so carelessly, with her face beaming from the sunlight and her (h/c) hair loose due to the slight breeze, ... for a split second my heart was free of any oppressive feeling. But only for a second before my mind showed me those traumatizing pictures of her dismembered body. 

"Kakashi, you're on time. That's... new?" she said, turning to me when she noticed my presence, still with a smile. A smile that fell when she realized I wasn't my normally aloof self "What's wrong?" she asked, tilting her head but with obvious worry. 

"We can't go on this mission" I said, finally able to catch my breath after having rushed there. She scrunched her brows, obviously not expecting those words. 

"Why not?" 

I thought about straight out telling her the reason. About telling her that an ambush was waiting for us. But I realized how crazy it would sound if I said I had seen her die. It definitely wouldn't sound like a reason enough to cancel a mission, especially not an anbu black ops mission. It also wouldn't be any better to tell her about the ambush, because then I would have to explain how I knew about it and again, it wouldn't be believable to say I saw it, lived it, or whatever it was.

"You're not ready enough to go on this mission, I want to request a delay" I said the first thing that came to mind. 

(Y/n)'s face obviously turned into a frown. Any trace of worry on her face had completely disappeared, and instead, all I could see was annoyance. 

"What do you mean I'm not ready?" she asked, crossing her arms and not even trying to mask her anger. 

I looked away from her for a couple of seconds. I didn't mean anything, I just blurted the first thing that came to my mind, and if it meant she wouldn't go, I would take her anger. I turned around and started walking towards the Hokage's office, leaving her there. 

"I meant just that. You're not fitted for this mission right now, it'll be better to wait" 

"I'm not fitted?" she asked, following me but clearly doing so reluctantly and angry "And why exactly am I not fitted? In what things does the grandiose and talented Kakashi of The Sharingan think I'm not good enough?" 

'I didn't mean it' I thought, biting my inner cheek. But I didn't answer and just huffed, walking quicker while I thought of a way to convince the Third. 

"You know what? Sure, let's go see the Hokage and see who's not fitted" she said, now clearly bitter with me "After all this time, after Rin and Obito's deaths... and you still aren't able to have fucking teamwork" she said, taking off faster than me towards the Hokage's office "I think you're the one not suited!" she shouted.

I was obviously hurt by her words, but the truth in them, and the fact that she was now ahead of me, made me forget about it and instead run faster. My legs were motivated to run quicker by the possibility of Hiruzen sending her anyway but with someone else while he made me stay here. 

"(Y/n), you should be on your way with Kakashi to the Land of Bamboo" Lord Third said slightly startled when she busted his office's door open.

"Yes, but Kakashi here thinks I shouldn't be going because I'm not enough of a good ninja" she said offended, crossing her arms again while giving me a side glare.