I've Got Scars Too.

Chapter eleven

Dinner really ended long ago, but we all still sat around the table goofing off and laughing. Everyone was hesitant to leave, not wanting to be apart from our recently reunited group. Everyone was talking about the things they liked and telling funny stories. Except for me, I couldn't bring myself to speak. I desperately wanted to talk, to join in with the group, to be able to easily communicate with others, but every time I felt like I was comfortable enough my mouth would stay tightly closed and my throat wouldn't budge. My chest hurt every time I was unable to speak. It ached at every story the others told because I would never be able to tell them my stories or thoughts. I would never be able to make them laugh like that, but I knew I wasn't ready to speak.

Being "comfortable enough" wasn't actually me being comfortable with the thought of speaking. It was me being comfortable with the thought of pushing myself. The thought of speaking still sent overwhelming waves of fear over my body. The thought of words coming out of my mouth brought back the disgusting memories of being in Haggar's prison. Remembering when I spoke up how others would die, or would cause them pain. I didn't even care about when it caused my own pain. It was when my actions caused others pain that my stomach would twist, and I would feel like throwing up, but I couldn't even stand to open my mouth. The fact that we just ate dinner made the feelings worse. I didn't want these thoughts right now. I needed a distraction-and I got one once Allura spoke up.

"Oh my, look at how late it is! Lance and Keith are practically asleep-" I looked over to see them both with their heads down on the table. Lance looked as if he was subconsciously leaning towards Keith. "I'm sure that we will all need some sleep for the upcoming battles we will face, so you should all get your rest" she said as she started standing up to head to her room. Hunk leaned back and yawned. This made me finally realize how tired I was as I yawned too. This made the others start yawning, and that caused Shiro to laugh.

"Alright paladins, you heard the princess, go get some beauty sleep, we can clean this mess up tomorrow" Coran spoke up as he tried waking Keith and lance up.

"No worries Coran, we will take care of them" Shiro assured Coran and sent him on his way to his room. It was probably good that Coran left instead of trying to help since he had dark circles under his eyes. At this point Allura was already long gone.

Shiro and Kuro started to wake Keith and Lance up. Hunk was starting to fall asleep while walking towards his room. I looked to my right to see Pidge out cold. She was softly snoring. As gently as I could I lightly placed my hand on her shoulder and shook her a bit.

"Ha, you'll have to shake her a lot harder than that to wake her up. She sleeps like she's dead." I shook her a little harder. It didn't work. At this point I was rocking her back and forth.

"I would carry her but she would be so embarrassed that she would avoid us for a week" Shiro sighed. I guess Pidge was embarrassed with male physical contact? Or maybe it was just because they weren't close?

"So we should wake her up?"

"Definitely"

"I guess we could get some ice to pour-" Shiro and Kuro were trying to figure out what to do with Pidge, but I wasn't listening. I shrugged and sighed. The chair scraped the floor as I pulled it out from the table. I held Pidge back from falling out of her chair, and I could feel Shiro and Kuro's eyes on me. I grabbed Pidge in what was essentially a hug and pulled her up from the chair, so now I was holding her on my hip like a toddler. I was able to carry her with ease. She lightly grunted and rustled a moment before her head leaned into my shoulder. She went back to snoring. I looked up to see both Kuro and Shiro with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

"HOW CAN YOU PICK HER UP???" Kuro asked. I shrugged, it's not like it was hard, and I didn't think she would mind since I'm pretty close with everyone here. Well except for maybe Keith. I don't really think I'm Keith's cup of tea when it comes to friends he would be close with.