All The Lies You Tell - MATTHEO RIDDLE

Chapter 9

TW: Child abuse. Don't read if it makes you uncomfortable. Thanks!

I was pissed, to say the least. I had traveled all the way to Harry's for nothing. I was still trying to comprehend exactly what went wrong. Did I say something to offend him? I gave him a way to talk to Bellatrix like he wanted. I did all the right things. I didn't rat him out to Mcgonagall like I should have. I kept his secret. I'm still keeping his secret. I tried so hard. Yet he still acts the way he does. I wasn't trying to fix him. Or mock him. I was only helping. Why can't I do anything right?

Olivia had left an hour ago. I was tempted to go with her, but thinking of last time had already made me sick to my stomach. I will never try alcohol again. Theo introduced me to it. It will always have bad memories linked to it. But that doesn't mean I can't drown my sorrows elsewhere. Like in the astronomy tower. Away from any and all possible interaction.

I was already out of breath by the time I made it up the spiral staircase. I started towards the balcony when I stopped abruptly. Someone else is here. The person must have heard me because they twist their head back. I almost gasp. It's Mattheo. He doesn't look well. I'm reminded of when I saw him behind bars.

I step up to the railing where he leans. I'm careful not to get too close. He smells of  alcohol. Yet he still has that scent of pine and cologne to him. His head has turned back to face the starry night. He knows I'm here, but doesn't say anything. His eyes are rimmed red.

"How much have you had to drink?", I ask finally.

"Too much", Mattheo answers quickly.

"You don't seem well", I say.

"When have I ever", He mocks, turning to face me.

"Come on Mattheo, I'm being serious".

"As am I. When was the last time you saw me being well? Maybe even, normal?". He takes my silence as an answer. "Precisely".

"Maybe you shouldn't stand so close to the edge?", I offer.

"Have I ever told you about my childhood?", he blurts out of the blue.

I stammer. "Um... no."

He smiles to himself. He looks back out over the railing. "My father was never around, of course. And my mother blamed me. Don't know why. She never gave a valid reason. It was just always my fault. As was everything wrong in her life. She hit me sometimes. Did you know that?".

He waits for an answer. I just shake my head. I'm at a loss for words.

"Of course not. How could you? When she was angry she hit me. Sometimes it was a slap across the face. Or sometimes she would cast little spells at me. That's how I got this scar right here", he points to a small scar across his left cheek. If he hadn't of pointed it out I would never have noticed. He continues, "Hurt like a motherfucker. But she was "so sorry" afterwards. Said it was an accident". He scoffs.

I stifle back a sigh.

"She wasn't mother of the year, but she wasn't all bad either. The one time she didn't forget my birthday she bought cupcakes. Tasted like shit, but hey, at least she remembered. And this other time Draco gave me one of his toys and she actually let me keep it. She used to say toys were a waste of time. That I should be practicing my magic instead of messing around. Maybe she was right. Then one day I remember there was a knock at the door and she was taken away in handcuffs. I was dropped off on the doorstep of the Manor. It was one of the best days of my life".

By the time he's done it's hard to contain my shock. Does he even know what he's saying to me right now? The Mattheo I've come to know would never reveal this level of vulnerability. I need to go about this the right way. Or I'll scare him off.