Fall again

Chp3

Chapter 3~ Recurring Dreams

I knew I was dreaming one of those recurring dreams where I could control it if I tried to, I could stop it alter it or do something so they won't haunt me forever.

But just like everytime, I found myself entrapped by it as if I was held on a chair with united ropes making me watch it play again. I could move, I could open my eyes anytime and say it is not happening. It was over and I was nowhere in that memory.

But just like everytime I chose to walk down that memory lane, again watching myself at fault.

It started back with something I won't ever get tired of hearing.

Aarav playing the paino

I was in my khakhi high school uniform passing by the corridor, the lane which had the big auditorium with the white paino in it and only one person can play it that melodiously to capture my attention leaving me enthralled and frozen to my spot.

With light steps, I reached the closed brown doors of the music room. My heart thudding in my chest I was sacred of getting caught. Though, I wasn't doing anything wrong but that little feeling of stalking and acting like I didn't know Aarav made me at wrong.

I laid my back against the wall by the big window through which I could steal glances at him playing the paino lost in the tunes his eyes closed,
his head angled back in serene
it bobbed softly to the slow melody. As if I could see them gliding out in sparkling form caressing his angel like features, so calm so pure it ached my heart to reach him.

I restrained myself my feet from rushing inside and announcing to him what I was dying to tell but I couldn't really make myself do that.

What if he didn't like me?
what if he had expected someone more beautiful?
Someone different and better than me?

Just these thoughts always held me back from confessing from laying out all my truths to him

So, I closed my eyes and inclined my head to the wall feeling this sad moment of separation with a hope of one day.

One day I will do that

One day I will be brave and courageous enough to clear all lies admit it out, who I was.

One day there would be no wall between us

My eyes burned back, I let out a slow laboured breath then gradually I let myself get drifted away by the music to one thing the one place that led us to it together.

The scene flickered to the other one when I was again walking down the corridor with my sketchbook against my chest. The only reason as to why I got myself in this art workshop was to get close to Aarav to listen to him play the paino, to steal glances with him even though he didn't know me. Or he thought he didn't know me. For him I was Selena, a smart and beautiful girl. The fiction girl made by my lies she was someone I could never be.

I got my entry in his school; St' Xavier by taking up the summer workshop classes. The renowned school with star students. The most talented ones.

Like always, during this time the hallway was empty people were busy in attending their respective activities. I expected to hear the melody the soft tunes of the paino when Aarav's fingers literally glided through the keys flowing unobstructed in a symphony like a breezy air in spring.

Rather, the corridor was swarmed in a dreadful silence my footsteps echoed on the linoleum floor. I wanted to turn back and returned to the activity area but this foreboding feeling of something was wrong compelled me to keep walking.