Baker - G. BLYTHE

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-ˋˏ *.·:·. [TWO DAYS LATER] .·:·.* ˎˊ-

THE DAY OF EXAMS ARRIVED QUICKLY LEADING TO STRESS AMONGST MOST STUDENTS. Well, everyone apart from Charlotte. As she was now not going to Queens, she had no need for any exams so she planned to spend the day with her Mother and Brother at the beach. She did however have to make one stop before the planned beach day and that was to Gilbert's home. She walked through the door and greeted Sebastian's Mother, the woman did act rather weirdly around her but she just placed it to what she had been through her entire life. Charlotte just smiled and remained polite even though some of the time her mannerisms made her slightly uncomfortable. While she waited for Gilbert to come downstairs, she talked to, rocked and bounced a giggling baby Delphine. She found great comfort in the baby's laugh, it was so pure and had the power to take away any horrid feeling inside. She wished Gilbert good luck on his exams and talked to Bash for a while before leaving to meet the other two Rayhills at the beach. 

The beach day was the perfect thing to take her mind off the goings-on in the world and all about her future. She sunbathed with her Mother whilst Rían dug a small hole into the sand with a rock resembling a trowel. Rían managed to somehow push Charlotte into the sea whilst they were jumping over waves, resulting in her grabbing his leg and pulling him under too. Because of this, they had to retire home early so she could get the salt out from her hair, ready for the after exam celebratory secret party that the students had planned.

She arrived slightly late to the party, it had already gotten dark and they were halfway through the bottle of moonshine already. So she got to work quickly, taking the bottle from Charlie and catching up with the others. She had never felt so free, her limbs felt light and free to move wherever they wanted to go. She laughed at Anne's jokes, danced happily with the girls and a few of the boys (Moody played the banjo) and celebrated the fact that the smaller part of their lives were over. In a week's worth of mornings, they would no longer be school children, no they would be members of an advancing society free to do whatever they wanted with their lives. That scared them all, the unknown. 

Charlotte laughed and danced with Tillie, blissfully unaware of anything that was going on in the world outside of the bonfire. Tillie took one of her hands, straightened out both of their arms then spun Charlotte around. Her skirt swirled up, her long waves flowing around her as she spun. Tillie had put so much force into the spin, partly because they were both drunk, that Charlotte struggled to stop herself from toppling over. Before she could think too hard about reaching the floor someone caught her elbow, stopping the inevitable. Charlotte turned her head to see Gilbert holding her elbow.

He helped to straighten her back up. "May I speak with you, please?" he asked with a look on his face that had Charlotte concerned, she quickly nodded as in her current state forming words was rather difficult. She followed him to the only area where other people weren't, in front of the burning fire. 

"So you officially met the Cuthberts?" Charlotte attempted to get his rather sporadic story straight, Gilbert had begun pacing by the fire and very quickly talking bout the very confusing events of his day. She struggled to keep up with the pace, having never seen Gilbert like this it took a while for her to get accustomed. 

"They laid out everything on a silver platter, the financial help for the Sorbonne, Paris. My future if I want it," Gilbert hastily replied, breath a little heavier than usual because he had been pacing and speaking so quickly he didn't have the chance to catch his breath. Gilbert slowed and sighed, "Permission... to propose." She took in a breath involuntarily, she hadn't quite yet come to terms with the fact that they were going to be married so the thought wracked her above all. Sure she knew that they would marry eventually but she didn't think it would be so quick, so sudden. She certainly didn't think that he would seem to be so against the idea, she couldn't think of what would be making this such a difficult decision for him. She hoped deep down that she knew but felt that to be far too selfish and honestly unbelievable. "I don't know what to do," he sighed, beginning to pace once again.

"You don't want to be a country doctor,  you've talked about the Sorbonne for almost a year. Anne is lovely and her parents are supportive," Charlotte replied softly, trying to get the facts straight in her head. Gilbert moved from sanding by the burning fire to sitting on the log next to her, he couldn't handle not being able to see her expression as the shadows had cast over her. His heart thudded in his chest, mind raced with thoughts about what her reaction would be. "There's clearly something bothering you about the entire thing, I've known you for long enough to know that something's wrong," she whispered back, trying to search behind his eyes for the reason. Her hand moved to be on top of his hand which rested in front of him on the bench, Gilbert immediately felt a sense of warmth and comfort from the small amount of contact. He couldn't believe that he had been so stupid and not have seen it before. "Do you love her Gil?" 

He thought about it for a second, looking only at her with love hidden in his eyes. "That's the thing, I don't love her," he cleared his throat ready for the next part, the part that would change their relationship forever. "But I'm not sure the girl I do love loves me back." 

Charlotte continued to look at Gilbert with furrowed eyebrows and then the realisation hit her faster than the morning. The feeling that came with it was an interesting one. At first, her heart swelled. Learning that someone, that he, felt the same way. That they both loved each other. But then the happy feelings came crashing down,  one of pure panic replacing it and numbing out all the good. She swiftly removed her hand from his, dusting the lasting lingering feeling of his touch onto the log next to her. 

"Oh, I don't know what to say i-" Charlotte stuttered in pure astonishment, her eyes wide and darting all over his face. "What am I supposed to... and everyone... everyone...and you... Anne... Paris... and we never even... love?.. and she's beautiful..." she stuttered rolling the skin of her finger once more, there was nothing that would stop the feeling running through her brain. She was on edge, slightly drunk and speaking without thinking. In between all of that she had a moment of clarity, one thought seemed to overcome all the other worrying and loving ones in her head. The crease between his eyebrows only deepened with every confusing syllable, which along with the tightness in his heart had them both feeling the same way. Love, confusion, disappointment, guilt and shock. "Ní bheidh mé sa dara háit ag Anne."

Gilbert's bewilderment only grew at the Irish, it was spoken so quickly that he couldn't pick up anything that she was saying. He was about to ask what it meant as it could have been absolutely anything, for their future together or completely against it, but before he could Tillie came hurrying over saying something about a ritual. Charlotte stood with a panicked weakness in her knees, she stumbled slightly then stood to face the fire. In a split second, she pivoted turning to face him once more, tears pricked at her eyes and she tried desperately to keep her voice unbroken. "I said I won't be second to Anne." 

And with that, she left, not bothering to even hear what he had to say next. He never got the chance to tell her that she would never be second to Anne, that his heart yearned for her and it never had even blossomed for Anne. Both spent the rest of the night completely distracted and deep in thought. If growing up meant this much confusion she no longer wanted it.