Two Sides -Taekook (KookV)

16 - Tears

Pov. Taehyung

I look at him after my jaw drops. There's no way I heard correctly, did I? His eyes are fixed on me waiting for an answer but I have to ask him go repeat the question. And clear as day, the same six words come out of him.

- Are you in love with me?

He asks with so much care in his voice it's like he's afraid of my answer. But I can't be sure what's the part that scares him. Is he afraid I'll say no? Or...is it the complete opposite? I can't deny my legs are shaking and my heartbeat is not going at a healthy pace. I have to gather the little courage I have not to lose my composure. And pretending like this is not a big deal, I answer.

- Obviously.

- W-What do you mean "obviously"? So this whole time...since...since...Oh...

I don't need to tell him I fell as soon as I saw his bunny smile. Or the first time I heard that melodic voice. Or as soon as he started flirting with me with all his irresistible charm. No. He seems to understand it by my silence. To be honest, it's a little shocking that he managed to put two and two together. I mean, really? How did he notice my feelings? Am I finally getting better at showing them? Just when I was trying to move on?

- So...You feel like saying something about it, Jeon? We can pretend like I ne-

- Is that why you got mad last time? Is it because you wanted...more?

- In my defense I was pretty sure you wanted the same as me!

- Why would I wa...

- Jesus fuck, I don't know Jeon. I don't know what made me think I would be worthy of you

- I didn't mean it like that it's just...I mean I...we never...I never said I wanted more than that and I spent days wondering what the hell did I do wrong!

- Nothing. You did nothing wrong. I just kept my hopes up. I thought you wanted to date me. Until I saw you tasting Mark's throat with your fucking tongue and I simply walked away.

He seems to realize what he did and how I felt. I can see the regret written on his face. And I have to take a deep breath and look away for a moment.

- I'm sorry Tae...I swear I didn't know...

- You don't have to be. I confused things. I wanted more. I wanted all of you. And I thought...I thought you could see that. But it's fine.

I try to sound as uninterested as possible. Because I want it to be over. Because I can hear in his tone, in the guilt that shines through, that what's coming next is gonna make me cry. But no matter how much I treat it like it's not a big deal, he knows he has to be clear with me. No matter how much it hurts.

- I think you're awesome, Tae

- God, don't make it worse than it is. Just make it fast. Like a band-aid.

-...I only see you as a friend.

Ah, shit. I knew it was coming. It should be not a single bit surprising. I've told myself this would be his reaction if he ever found out countless times. And yet here I am, letting my tears fall. Unable to stop them. He seems shocked in place seeing me cry. I don't think I ever felt this weak in front of someone. This hurts so much more than I thought it would. He tries to hug me but I stop him.

- C-Can you Uhmmm give me a minute a-alone?

- I made you cry... I'm so sorry, Tae. Is there anything I can do to help? You wanna slap me? I'll allow it! I will but please stop crying...

- It's o-okay. I'm not mad or a-anything. Only at myself f-for feeling this stupid shit. B-But if you tell anyone you saw me cry, I'll run over you with a car

- Deal...

Following my request after insisting, he leaves me alone. So I can break down without feeling that embarrassed. All of this for an idiot that simply doesn't love me? A friend that will never be more than that? I try to convince myself it's stupid to feel this bad. But it's not possible. Maybe tomorrow I'll be a little better but for now... I'll just let it all out...

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So that was the saddest fucking chapter in this story. My poor Tae bear couldn't be ready enough for that 🥺

Tomorrow we'll see Jungkook. Keep your hopes up if you like. See you there~

- Baby Y