Even In Pieces [bxb]

Chapter 32

Zachary

The cab wasn't going fast enough, it never would because no matter how fast it went I can never be satisfied. I ran inside the theater. My heart is racing too much, my brain is definitely not normal and my hands are sweating. The moment I heard his voice in that gruff tone he uses with me all the time, It felt like I could breathe, but I couldn't feel the air. All the way till here, I couldn't think because my head was filled with him. I am confused and scared, but I want to see him.

I want to see him so bad.

He is sitting there, on the stage, with just the stage lights on and turns when he sees me coming. The theater is so huge and silent when no one else is here. I walk up to the stage, he gets up and my feet freezes. If he breaks my heart again, I might just stop living. Please don't break me again. I know that's unfair when I am the one who left. God, how will I hold myself up if I have to go through that again?

"Why didn't you tell me about why you went to meet your father?" He asks, coming closer to me.

I open my mouth to talk, but he cuts me off. "And don't give me some half-assed bullshit. I want the truth."

The truth. He wants the truth. I bite my lip; if not now, then when?

"I am scared of getting hurt. I am scared because you can hurt me, and I am just giving you that power, and that scares me. I have never fucking trusted anyone, and then you were there, and I basically threw myself at you hoping you'd catch, and you did. When you said that I couldn't tell you my feelings, I thought it's true, and you deserve better. I still think you deserve better -" I am blabbering, and I know it.

"I do, but well, I'll work with what I get." Everett slips in with a smirk forming on his lips.

I ignore him and continue. "I was one foot in and the other out, and I thought there wasn't a point in being in a relationship like that. You'd finally see that I can never be in a relationship, and then we'd have to have a messy break up. I can't do that. I would be completely destroyed. I am so broken, Everett. Hurt and in damn pieces. And I am scared of losing you, so when I got the chance I left because if I fall more in love with you, I won't survive."

Everett stares at me for a moment and I think I am going to cry, but then he catches my wrist and yanks me to him. His arm warping around my waist and his face nuzzling the side of my neck. I melt a little in his warmth and find myself breathing. This is so much more than I'll ever be able to understand, but I want to die trying.

"That must have been hard to say, but that won't be the last time you say it to me."

I snort as my hands wrap around him and I close my eyes, inhaling his scent. God, I missed this. The way he could wrap himself around me and I felt like I finally belonged. "The part where I am scared of not being the one to mess everything up?"

"No. The part where you love me. But that works too."

Oh, yeah. I did say that. Never did I think that those words would come from me. Definitely not like this. It slipped out of my mouth because of my nervousness. I always thought I'd regret saying those words, but all I can feel is complete.

Those words are probably what I'll think about every morning I wake up and every night I fall asleep.

"I didn't think I'd fall in love." I say. I think I am shaking in his arms. He holds me tighter.