- Intoxicating love - (Jesse Klaver x Rob Jetten)

1- time to get to work

Leaves dancing in the air like colorful whirlwinds, eventually falling and painting the ground in an orange and yellow tint. The coldness of fall has washed away summers heat, forcing everyone to cover up again. No more bikinis and tan lines, only big comfy scarfs and classy boots.

"Don't forget to text me immediately"

Sjoerds voice rings in his ears, lovely tones of sweetness, filled with nothing but love and compassion. He is a good boyfriend, always so caring and observant, never forgetting Robs birthday or their anniversary. Sjoerd would never, he loves him too much. But still, there's something off about them. What used to be big grins and laughter turned into forced smiles and deceit. There is nothing genuine in those "I love you"s anymore. Lies, mostly out of practicality, never out of hatred. Rob isn't too sure Sjoerd knows that though. He seems so unwilling to accept it, even though the obviousness of it is right on front of them: Rob has fallen out of love.

"I will."

He gives his boyfriend a pat on the shoulder, dodging the kiss. Instead of on his lips, Sjoerd is forced to give Rob a small peck on the cheek. Short, but sweet. To Rob however it feels like guilt. Every touch, every stroke, every kiss too much. Hot against the frozen cold skin. Rob has moved on, but is too in love with the fantasy to finally end it. It doesn't feel right anyways, not the ethical way. Sjoerd has been nothing but a sweetheart, and still Rob is left unsatisfied. They've been together for more than 6 years already, fully committed to each other, so why change anything about it.

Why the heartbreak? Why entering an awkward dating phase again? Why not just stay that way?

"I wish you good luck"

"Thank you."

And so Rob finally turns around to begin his work. The building looks so untelling from outside: longish rectangular windows plastered in a circular formation, overshadowed by the block of cement above. Almost like an UFO, now that Rob analyzes it more accurately. The words "Tweede Kamer" neatly written on a dark blue sign, white on blue. Suits and ties everywhere the eye falls, and suddenly he's part of all of it.

He's part of the important decisions that will be made. Part of the top secret meetings, and even part of the interviews silly reporters make. On one hand it feels exiting, on the other frightening. So much responsibility, he wouldn't be the first to be crushed by it. People voted for him, he must be the fraction leader of D66, so he can't let them down. He can't let Alexander Pechthold down.

With a deep breath he enters the building, the cold air from outside now replaced by the heated smell of politicians walking in and out. He blends in so perfectly, just another man in a suit, as he walks over the creaking wooden floor. No one even pays attention, no one cares about what he had for lunch, or if he drank enough. But Sjoerd would care, Sjoerd always does. As he thinks about his boyfriend his expression is bathed in guilt. Once again a reminder of how 6 years have gotten him nothing. There is no happily ever after, they're not made for each other. Rob will grow old and grey, just not with Sjoerd, and he slowly starts to accept that.

A large group of politicians pass him, never granting him even one look. They're all walking in the same direction, in the same speed, in the same rhythm. Everything about them is universal, empty shells without souls. Maybe Rob will be the one to bring some life into that place. He watches their every steps, following almost automatically. Where they go, he must go too. Directed by their chatter and footsteps Rob strides along, ending up standing in a big room.

Blue cushy seats with a golden symbol burned into them. Long desks made out of maple, becoming smaller the more you walk into the room. A lectern for the speaking politicians, interruption mics for the ones that need to get a word in. He can already see himself having a debate, feeling the excitement and fear at the same time when a colleague decides to interrupt. He can already feel the tension flowing through his veins.