- Intoxicating love - (Jesse Klaver x Rob Jetten)

12- unnerving situations

Water flowing down the sink.

Deep breath follows deep breath.

The person in the mirror seems familiar but also so unknown, like he somehow recognizes him but can't put his finger on where he's seen him before.

It's ironic, because he is still Rob.

He's himself.

Yet the connection to it seems lost. Distorted.

The black short cut hair is still the same, but also not. Something has changed about it. More something inside, rather than physically, but it reflects off him.

Knowing Jesse lies outside of that door, half naked and aware of what Rob just did, makes his knees weak and hands shaky. His mouth feels dry, his throat itchy.

There is no way he can leave that bathroom now. There's no way he can just slip back under the covers, lay next to Jesse and act like they didn't just hold each others hands in bed.

A part of him is still in denial. Jesse must've been asleep, there's no way-

A loud thump of the door.

The hotel room door.

Rob closes the water tap to check, his stomach still in knots from the anxiety. But when he steps out the bathroom, he finds nothing there.

The bed abandoned. The sheets still wrinkly. The objects still at their place like they were minutes ago. Apart from Jesses clothes. He's gone.

Coward.

They're both cowards.

Rob fled into hiding, Jesse ran away. Two adults incapable of dealing with a situation the mature way.

The room still smells like him. His pillow absorbed the cigarette smell, the sheets still hold that comfort essence, and the air reeks of his presence. It makes him miss him already.

Now that he got another taste of what it would be like to be with him, he misses it. Addicting, not only the nicotine, but his toxicity. It's too much but not enough at the same time. Overwhelming, but makes him crave for more.

But now he's gone, and took every bit of hope Rob had with him.

This was a chance, an opportunity at a shared life together. Jesse obviously feels it to, he reciprocated the touch. He was the one to intertwine their fingers. He was the one to text Rob that one night.

And when he received the keychain, he kept it. He stared at it for minutes, he held it close.

Maybe he's scared. Scared of commitment, scared of his reputation. But it shows: he's vulnerable. That act of the unbothered, cold and annoyed Jesse is only that; an act. And it fills Robs heart with hope.

The bed is still warm against his skin, and the moon brighter than minutes ago. It shines directly on his covered body, and the empty spot besides, like a reminder of what he's lost.

Only after tossing and turning, sniffing Jesses pillow and throwing it off the bed, he finally comes to rest and falls into a light sleep.

❥

A touch.

Light, but warm, inviting, but startling.