His Dark Obsession

Chapter 39: Spent

Ian felt numb all over as the policeman concluded interrogating him. They had finally lifted Jake's body off the floor of his bed and were carrying it out on a gurney. Ian saw Jake's mother arrive at the scene -- hysterical and out of her mind. She came straight to Ian, her posture, not as cold and unwelcoming as was in the past, "Ian, what has happened!" It was the reaction of a parent to whom, the passing of their child before them, is unfathomable. "Ian, who did this?! Surely, you must know! You two have been like brothers!" She clutched Ian's shirt front in her deathly, ice-cold grip.
Ian put his hands over hers and racked his brain for the appropriate words to placate a woman who had never been in his corner because of her son's association with him,"I don't, Estelle."
Estelle's eyes brimmed with tears as she heard Ian's answer - maybe she wished for him to know more. Ian knew that she loved her son as deeply as any mother loves their child. She just wasn't a present mother and though Jake Cada knew that and resented that, she was his mother and so he cared.
Ian saw Tara go over to Estelle then and rub her back in tenderness.
"Estelle...", she said and before Tara could continue, Estelle embraced Tara without hesitation and wailed openly. Tara wrapped her arms around her, in a comforting gesture as she shed tears of her own.
A policeman with a badge that said 'Bryan' approached Estelle and asked to speak with her. Ian could hear her saying, "Officer, tell me who did this...." before they were both out of earshot.
Tara sullenly watched her walk away and then walked over to Ian and sat close to him on a sofa in Jake's bedroom. Tara's shoulder brushed against Ian when she tried to move a little away from him once she was already sitting. In addition to finding the idea of her putting distance between the two of them odd, Ian also realized that she was shivering. He moved closer to her then, reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulder and rubbed her gently. He then took his jacket off and put it over her. He saw her sigh in relief and wrap the garment around her tightly. She did her best to avoid his gaze.
Ian couldn't help but admire how calm and composed she had been throughout this; he felt great respect for Tara for consoling Estelle and for showing kindness to her in a time of grief. He whispered close to her ear, "Tara, you have been very brave through this!"
Tara looked into his eyes then; her expressions made her look like a scared, little bird in a thuderstorm to him. "Ian, I am not brave. I am barely holding it together!...I can't imagine what Estelle must be going through right now...to lose one's child!"
Ian was suddenly reminded of the death of his parents; to lose one's parents was also hard. He couldn't believe he was going to have to live through the pain of losing someone close to him again. Life was treacherous.
Ian looked at Tara. She looked like a vulnerable, lost pup. He couldn't help himself so he caressed her cheek gently using the back of his hand. He, also, immediately noted the quizzical reaction of the police officers from the corner of his eye. At the present moment, he didn't really care!
Ian started to relate his deep anguish to  a person in whom, he had absolute trust, "You are holding it together way better than me, Tara. When I saw him, lying on the floor...something inside of me just...snapped."
Ian saw her win an internal battle as he said these words. Tara slowly reached out to cover his hand with her own, with sadness in her eyes, she remarked, "This is way worse for you!..."
Ian didn't say anything. She didn't know the past he and Jake had lived through, he doubted Jake would have ever brought it up with her. She couldn't possibly fathom how much Jake meant to him. He was his brother and somebody had killed him, murdered him in cold blood. He knew the police were going to consider him and Tara as the main suspects. He also knew that he was going to find whoever did this to Jake. He wouldn't rest until he did. And then they would suffer. Exactly as Jake had suffered or worse -- he'd make sure of it.
"Ian, what's going on?"
"What?"
"You have been lost in thoughts since you were standing over Jake's...body."
"I have, haven't I?"
"What are you thinking?!" Tara asked with something akin of fear in her eyes.
"I...am not thinking, Tara." And as she was about to protest, he confided in her, "I am in hell."
"Hell...!"
"It is my own personal hell. A hell, that Jake helped me out of. And now, I feel, I will sink back into it...and very quickly!"
Tara looked at him, traumatized. Ian felt like she saw the devil in him, in that moment. "Don't say such things, Ian. I am with you, I will take care of you!"
Tara put her hand over Ian's. The simple gesture did plenty to calm him down. Ian exhaled.
Officer Bryan came to them and spoke in a stately manner, "I am afraid you'll both have to accompany us to the police station now."
Ian nodded to the policeman and stood up, and lifted Tara up along with him. They both went to Estelle and they unanimously decided that she'd stay at Jake's place till the police cleared out and then she will head back to her home.
"I will have to inform my children that their brother is no more. Just like his father, he has also left us for a better world!" Estelle informed Ian and Tara before they began to depart.
Ian and Tara then headed to the elevator, as the door closed, Ian turned to Tara and spoke intimately, "you'll come with me, Tara."
"Ian, my car's in the lot."
"No argument, please! You are in no condition to drive. I'lll drop you home after. I will have your car picked up tomorrow and delivered to you."
He saw that she was about to protest again but he silenced her by bringing his forefinger to her mouth. He heard her take in a sharp breath in response. If it hadn't been for the opening of the elevator doors at that exact moment, he would have kissed her -- with longing, with hunger, he would have drowned in the kiss, he would have shared his pain with her, he would have kissed her and he would have let her know that now that she could only be his, he wasn't ever letting go.
Ian escorted Tara to his car and opened the passenger door, when he had made sure that she was comfortably ensconced in her seat, he closed it gently. He then made his way to the driver's seat and sat in. Tara still seemed hesitant and afraid. "You don't have to be scared of anything, Tara! It'll all be ok!"
Ian drove at a mild pace to the police station and reached across the seat to hold Tara's hand in his own.
The night felt silent and haunting. As Ian's car made its way across New York streets, he felt that everyone in the city was suffering tonight. No one was happy. Everyone had had to face some sort of disappointment tonight -- some had suffered minor hurdles and others (himself included) had to deal with the entire weight of their existence. How is it that when one is in the depth of despair the world (his world) suffers with him. Whatever's around him is mourning in equal parts as the sufferer, so much so that whatever the sufferer experiences, it is projected onto his surroundings and becomes a part of it. His pain manifests and is highlighted in the despair of others.
Ian would always travel within himself when he faced anguish outwardly. And the travel was usually to the darkest, void-like corners of his mind, where he felt as if he was alone in a sea of people and his anguish was a physical, torturous burden that he carried. He never told anyone how deeply or intensely he sometimes felt about certain things -- it maddened him a little, to lose himself completely in the face of sorrow. Now, after suffering the loss of Jake, he felt he would spiral down again, to that dark place, where he found escape only in alcohol and drugs.
The death of his parents played in his head alongside the death of his friend -- it was so hard to lose someone close to you, the heartache, the despair, was immeasurable and the emptiness, the hole it left, only deepened overtime.
Ian felt Tara brush her hand over his ever so lightly and he was reminded of the fact that he had her and also of the fact that Jake was no more. He suddenly swerved his car into the direction of a dark, unoccupied building on the road side, Tara looked at him in surprise, "I thought we were going to the police station."
He parked the car in a dark alley next to the structure and got off and rushed to Tara's side. He opened the door and grabbed her arm and pulled her, as she got out he roughly pushed her against the car and kissed her and then through her gasps, he told her that he wanted her on top of him in the back of his car. He quickly got in the back seat and Tara gingerly sat on top of him. He closed the car door and suddenly they were in darkness. In the shady alley, he yanked Tara's panties off and shoved his fingers into her; he saw her gasp in anguish and need. He wanted her to be ready for him because all he could think of was being inside her. He slid his thumb into her along with the two other fingers that were already within her. The onslaught made her dig her nails into his shirt. He quietened her with his rough mouth as he contiued to explore her between her legs. "Ian....! I can't!" She sighed as she pleaded with him to stop and continue at the same time.
Ian pulled down is zipper and exposed himself through the side hole in his boxers. He then roughly pushed Tara's buttocks in the direction of his dick and she obediently sat on top of his manhood. As Tara started to take in the length of him, Ian gasped and closed his eyes in torment, all the while holding her ass in a painful grip. She began to move on him gently but his eyes flew open and through the beady sweat that covered his body, he said only a single word to her, "Faster!"
And Tara started to ride him at the pace he wanted, all the while screaming sighs of pleasure. Ian just closed his eyes and let her ride him. As her breath became raspy, she rode him faster, twisting her body in delicious knots and just like that Ian felt himself close to the ecstasy of release. At the moment he was about to come, he grabbed Tara's ass in a vicious grip and forced her to go faster -- which she did.
And then he released into her and Tara also came.
Ian, for the time being, had managed to push the monsters to a corner of his mind; losing himself in Tara had achieved that. He realized that maybe the answer was to keep her in his bed all day, everyday, till that thoughts of doom decided to slip away.