I'm Not Crazy || Taekook

Rock Bottom

*Warning, uncomfortable topic mentioned, viewer discretion is advised*

"He's getting worse," Jin sighed as he put the plate of food he made for me on the table and sat in between Jimin and Hoseok.

It had been almost a week since my breakdown with Jimin and I wasn't doing too well. I hadn't spoken a single word to anyone, missed all of my therapy sessions, hadn't eaten anything and hadn't gotten out of bed. I had been wearing the same black t-shirt and gray sweatpants all week, didn't brush my hair once so it looked all messy and stayed in the same position in my bed; my legs curled in, my body facing the wall against my bed, one arm under the pillow and one arm by my cheek and my sheet only covering my legs. I had this constant feeling like there was an invisible 5 pound brick on my chest and had this overwhelming urge to cry all the time. I felt no other emotions other than sadness and occasionally anger. To me, it seemed like this had given my heart it's final crack and it had finally shattered beyond repair. Nothing made me remotely close to happy or made me smile, not even Jin hyung's ridiculous jokes; I was beyond miserable.

Memories of Taehyung constantly filled my head and clouded my thoughts that it was all I could think about. Almost every night, I'd have nightmares about our fight and break up and wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air, tears streaming down my face and scared. Jin, Hoseok and Jimin hyung would take turns laying next to me everyday and cuddling me, which would usually make me burst into tears all over again. Since I was facing the wall, they'd hug my back but it was still nice, I have to admit. Whenever one of us wasn't in the bathroom, we'd keep the door locked so Taehyung, Namjoon and/or Yoongi couldn't come over and make me feel even worse.

The friend group had been torn in two since the breakup. No one from the separate rooms would hang out and even those who were dating hardly spoke to each other; It was a very tense atmosphere but the guys didn't seem to mind it that much.

The sun was setting and a single ray of golden light was beaming through the window near the table. The light was dancing off the light gray wall in which I was staring at and I silently watched the shadows of the leaves from the trees outside dance around from the wind.

"We've done everything we can, he won't eat, talk, get up... nothing.... He's officially hit rock bottom," Jimin sighed as he looked over at me for a moment and then back at Hoseok and Jin,

"Should we just let him be? Let the feelings pass on his own?" Hoseok asked,

"I don't know, if it goes on any longer, he might develop suicidal thoughts and/or actions, I can't let that happen," Jin replied, "We just have to find a way to encourage him to talk and get up,"

"I've been doing that this past week, by all means, you try" Jimin said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest,

Jin leaned his elbows on the table and stared into space and he bit the fingernail on his thumb, occasionally pursing his lips and going "hmm,"

______________________

The guys walked back into the room about 15 minutes later. Jimin strode in first and walked right up to my bed,

"Kook, we got the Star Wars: A New Hope DVD from the library, wanna come to the couch and watch with us?" He asked while waving the DVD case in the air. I could see him doing that through the shadow on the wall that I was still looking at. The dancing leaves had faded away since it was now dark outside. I didn't feel like watching Star Wars, I didn't feel like doing anything, I felt empty and hollow. I grunted in response as if to say, "no, thanks,"

He sighed, "I'm done, I've been trying to cheer you up all week and nothing's worked" He forcefully rolled me over so I was now looking at him. I made eye contact with him but didn't say anything, "Stop sulking! It's beneath you. Stop wasting your time on something that doesn't matter. Taehyung was an ass, he wasn't right for you and? Move on, it doesn't matter! Nothing about that break up was your fault, you did what you had to do. You tried your best in the relationship and it fell flat, that's his loss not yours, It's not your fault so get up, eat something, take a shower and act normal again!"

"I don't think that's the approach you should take when dealing with a situation like this," Hoseok mumbled as he scratched the back of his head and stared down at his feet,

"Not my fault?" I sat up and glared at him, my hands gripping the mattress tightly out of frustration, "Not my fault? Everything is my fault! My life is falling apart in literally every way possible! My psychopath of an ex boyfriend broke up with me and treats me like I'm garbage and has ruined my mental health even more than before, if that's even possible and it's my fault because I'm the one who got involved with him in the first place and let him do those things. My family hates me because I told them I'm gay which, I'm going to be honest, I'm not even sure is true and because of that I have no place to go when I leave here. I have no one to rely on, no job, or a dollar in my bank account, all because I fell in what I don't even think is love with a moron and- wait a minute... it's not my fault, its..."