In love with your best friend huh?

Chapter 9

I fucking love this boy.
I really really do
I don't know why
Maybe it's his laugh
Or his smile
Maybe it's his eyes and the way they sparkle
I don't know but I do know I love him.
Ew that sounds like a poem.

Anyways
Honestly every time I talk to this boy he makes me 10x happier. It's so unreal. I always laugh and have fun with him never a dull moment.
Honestly I really don't know what made me fall for him.
He's not that attractive but then again he is. It's weird.
I guess it was his humor
He's very funny person. And I love that.
We both have so many inside jokes and shit. No one else understands.
We can understand each other without speaking.

When I first started to like him I thought it was crazy. How could a girl like me like a boy like him. He's so mature and smart and I'm just his best friend nothing more.
I'm the dumb clumsy friend.
No way he'll ever like me back.

I'll never forget the first time he told me to go out with him. It was when I first started to like him and it caught me very off guard. I stayed shocked and quiet while he laughed.
I'll never forget the first time he hugged me when I started to like him. It was such a good feeling. I felt so nice and warm. I wanted to just stay in his arms forever.
I'll never forget the day I saw him after I actually liked him. Him being so close and everything. Freaked me out. It was normal for us back then but after I caught feelings I couldn't help but freak out. The boy I liked was so close to me. I talked to him almost everyday which only added fuel to the fire

I love this boy.
I want to be with this boy.
I want to be his.
I want him to be mine.
I want late night dates with him.
Going to the movies and having fun.
I want to hold his hand
I want to kiss him
I want to hold him
I want to love him more then I do now
And I want him to love me the same as I do
But when will this happen? I don't know.

I had my first heart break at 13. That boy broke me. I never even dated him but he lead me on. And I hope and pray that his boy doesn't do it to me. If this was all just a fun game for him I would never be the same. Now that is very dramatic but I'm dead serious. He's my best friend I would never look at him the same. If I got my heart broken by him I would never be able to be ok. Yes I will heal but not with him. I would never be able to see him or hear his voice again. It would break my heart over and over again if it happened.

I'm writing this just to release my feelings.

To be continued...