In love with your best friend huh?

Chapter 14

I'm probably not gonna write anymore after this. And I'll explain in a second. I just want to say thank you to all the readers and all the support.

I just got off the phone with this dude. Guys I'm so heartbroken right now it's not even funny. I want to go outside and have a mental breakdown. He were playing Mario kart and he asked me.

A- do you still like me

k- I don't want to answer that

A- ok that's fine. Uhh I have a crush
It's Kelly

K- ok

A- yeah. It's so exciting

I've never explained "Kelly". She is his hs crush. Dude would talk about her all the time but once he got to college he stopped. And then I started to like him and told him and we'll you know the rest. Now we are here.
In the previous chapter I wrote about the date. Right? So after the "date" where nothing happened. I was confused nothing happened. We never talked about it whatever. I told my friends about it and they were saying it's kinda fucked up how nothing happened. I mean at least a hand hug or arm over shoulder. It was a movie date after all. So whatever I told them he was probably nervous that's why. So after "date" I didn't text him at all you know waiting for him to text me. He never did and I was already losing a little interest. So I texted him Friday for the first time in almost 2 weeks and we talked about random bs. And I said do you want to ft tonight. Hoping for him to say something you know do something. Well we all know what he did. Told me about him liking another girl.

So fun right.

It makes me upset and sad that I was giving him Like a second chance just to get slapped in the face. I never hid my feelings from him. I told him I liked him and that was final. He would ask me every month for the date and I would say yes. I never put out a message that I didn't like him so it makes me upset that he just like slapped me in the face. Like he ripped my heart out of my chest and is stomping on it. And yes it might sound dramatic but it's how I feel

So for right now I'm gonna try and focus on me. Because in this story I've written I've left out a lot. I've left out the painful parts and only added the happy ones because I wanted it to be a love story. I wanted to look back and reread all our happy memories but it's all shit.

During this time of liking this boy he has caused me stress and sadness countless times

I would be on the phone with my friends crying because I felt like he didn't like me or he hated me.

He would leave me on read sometimes and give me mixed signals

The dude would go from being nice one day to being a total ass the next

He would tell me he loved me and how he can't live without me and bs but then say I was stupid or ugly. As a "joke". Yeah right joke my ass.

It's just not fair.

This whole time of liking him I've had to hear him time after time. Kelly this Kelly that. He would talk about her more before I told him but still brought her up after. It's just stupid.

I feel stupid for falling in love with a stupid boy. Yes he's my best friend but it's different. I don't know guys

I just feel very hurt right now. I wore my heart out on my sleeve this whole time. From the day I told him I liked him. From the time I told my friends I loved this boy. From the moment I started writing this. I put down my walls and let him in no matter what I let him in and let him do whatever. And I don't want to sound dramatic but that's how I feel.
I thought he liked me too and that one day we would become a couple and he dating and he happy. But no. We won't and never will be. After today...

Staring right now I'm promising myself That I'm gonna stay strong. Im not gonna let him make me cry anymore after today. I will not fall for him and his stupid laugh and stupid dorky face. No. I will try my best to move on from liking him. Loving him. Because I need to do what's best for me. I cannot keep pursuing a boy who hurts me time after time.

Yes he may not mean it and may not know he's hurting me but it's over now. I'm done with it. I'm so fucking done with it and him. I'll still be his friend but for now I'm not holding that bestfriend title and nether is he. I'm gonna try to distance myself. Try to heal and move on and accept it. Then work from there.

So for now and probably ever im gonna stop posting under this story. I can still write and update y'all on our friendship or whatever but no more. I'm not gonna sit here and pity myself because I let a boy hurt me.

I've been thru this before it's nothing new. It just hurts more because he is/was my bestfriend. I went on a god damn date with him. I told him I liked him and explained myself. But like I said I've been thru it before and Ik it'll take time but times heals the heart.

Also I don't want this to scare anyone from telling people you like them. You go for it. You only live once. Don't be scared. Everyone is different. Don't think you'll end up like me heartbroken over a stupid person you poured your heart into. I hope you all find a person who loves you for you and tells you they love you everyday. And if they don't fuck them because you are perfect.

I love you all thank you so much for reading. I know it wasn't that good of a story but I'm happy you still read it and got to know oh experience.