His Other Half (KiriBaku)

Chapter 22

October 8, XX84
-The Courtyard-

        "Okay, we have got to get you a repellant spell or something, sweet damn, Eijiro."

        Eijiro looked up curiously at the sound of Neito's teasing, confused, and pulled his plate of poached eggs and potatoes closer. Why the blonde always felt it prudent to interrupt his delicious breakfast, he'd never know. "Pardon? Repel what, exactly?"

        Itsuka and Testu looked at each other with an equally confused expression. Tetsu shrugged and returned to his breakfast.

        Neito gave his signature shit-eating grin. "Why, the mosquitoes that keep attacking you, of course."

        Tetsu froze with a bite halfway to his mouth. "Mosquitoes? Aren't the mosquitoes here like, really dangerous?"

        Ei tilted his head, even more confused. "Yeah, but not to me. They're magic suckers, and I don't have magic, so they've never bothered me. Denki and Izuku used to complain all the time when they get deficiencies from them. Prince Katsuki poisons them, so they don't bother him either."

        "So you name your mosquito?" Neito grinned. "That's cute."

        Eijiro slammed his fist down on the table, clenching his fork. He may have had no idea what was going on, but he was at least smart enough to figure out that he was being teased. "What are you talking about?"

        Itsuka sighed. "I think he means your neck," she said. "It's... splotchy."

        Eyebrows scrunched, Eijiro touched a hand gingerly to the side of his throat. He didn't feel anything, but Tetsutetsu craned his neck and looked suddenly concerned, so maybe there was something there.

        "That's a... pretty damn big mosquito," Tetsu said carefully. "Do mosquitoes go feral here? This one looks feral."

        Ei scoffed, rubbing self-consciously at his neck. "I've never heard of a feral mosquito."

        "Oh, I have," Neito put in, eyes wide for dramatics, but the way he slipped into English suggested he was probably about to be insulting. "They're like, five-and-a-half feet tall and they foam at the mouth, with rageful beady red eyes--"

        Itsuka suddenly covered a snort that nearly had her choking on the fruit pastry she had decided to try, quickly dissolving into hysterical laughter. Tetsutetsu looked as lost as Ei felt, but Neito carried on undisturbed.

        "--wild mops of blonde fuzz and this intolerable 'holier than thou' attitude. And they fly in packs--"

        "Swarms," Itsuka corrected through her laughter.

        "--and vow to kill anything and everything in sight with their horrifying burning bites!" Neito finished proudly, grinning broadly to himself like the evil mastermind he thought he was.

        Tetsutetsu whimpered.

        Eijiro rolled his eyes at the idiocy and switched them back to Japanese. "He's kidding," he promised. "They don't exist. And mosquitoes don't have teeth."

        Neito scoffed. "Can't make those marks without teeth, hun. You have a parasite problem, my friend."

        "Can you speak a language I understand?!"

        "Hm? We've already tried English and Japanese and you still don't understand that something big, blonde, and angry is suckling on your neck."