Redamancy

2️⃣

"hurry up, i don't want my hair to get wet" lulu shouts at me, muffled by the rain.
-
"maybe you shouldn't have curled it then!"

we ran under shelter, people surrounding us.
normally we stood under our tree, but it was already occupied by some guys in the year above. i finally get the chance to look at her.

lulus such a beautiful person. inside and out. we have our moments, but i could never replace her. she's the only person who really understands me. sometimes.
she's popular, gets along with everybody, easy to talk to. she's pretty as well, which adds on i guess. she has pretty caramel hair, hazel eyes, beauty spots, curves. we were polar opposites. she was the type to wear airpods, while i wore wired headphones. she wore expensive victoria secret perfume , while i wore some cheap perfume i stole from my older sister. the type to actually talk to boys, not just admire them. the type that doesn't have a sad song playlist, the type to wear expensive gold jewellery ; while i wore cheap silver jewellery.

a group of boys tread uncomfortably close to us, as they start to make conversation with her.
they all have extremely strong cologne, bad haircuts and puffer coats.
i never know what to do when this happens. just stand there awkwardly? join in?
they talked about what classes they had , and what homework they didn't do .
this awkward interaction went on for another 3 minutes, until they finally walked away.

lulu turned to me and ranted about how much they annoy her. i know she doesn't like half the people that talk to her, she pretends she does. i also wish i had the same problem. to get annoyed by how many people started a conversation with you, and not just act like you aren't there overall.

- time skip to after form -

i ran out to meet lulu under our tree, the bell ringing obnoxiously loud in my ears. we run up the stairs and through the corridors to spanish, where we took our separate ways in the classroom.
i like being alone , but not at school. nobody realises i'm there if lulu isn't, i'm nothing without her, and her being across the room doesn't help.

i sit down in my seat. all the rain from my bag dripping onto my desk and completely wetting my book. i sigh and shove my bag onto the floor. i lean my head against my hand, and let miss waffle (if ur not british waffle means talk nonsense LMAO)  for the next 55 minutes.

20 minutes in and like usual, i haven't said a word to anyone. everybody around me making conversation, but i never get the invite to join in. i wish i could talk to people, but i don't have the ability. i normally just sit and daydream all day in class if i'm not with lulu.
i used to be sociable , but with growing up comes insecurities. i've always been shy, but in my first years of high school i was quite popular, everybody knew my name, but growing up i faded into being extremely unpopular. i don't mind being unpopular. i just wish people talked to me. i kind of liked the mysterious ness i had. people knew my name but knew nothing about me. but if they did, it was bad things, which i regret. i was a sh*tty person back then, and when i finally realised that i was a bad person, i guess i just got really insecure and stopped talking.

my deep thoughts are interrupted by a sharp object being thrown at me. it bounces off me and onto my desk, on my partners book who had just left to go to the bathroom. i look around the room to see two boys laughing, one of them mouthing "sorry!"
i laughed it off as i knew it was an accident.

i doodle all over my book, although i was quite sh*t at drawing, i liked to pretend i was good , just for spanish class at least. i only knew how to draw an eye, so it was the same exact doodle all over my page.

" hey you."

i ignore it.

"you , oi"

i look up to see him.

"