Redamancy

3️⃣2️⃣

🎶 [Forget her - Jeff Buckley]

i pull up into my driveway and reverse park, which was almost impossible as it was so dark.

i pull the keys out and fling them on my fingers as i walk up to my front door, unlocking it and walking inside, away from the sharp, cold air. it was still slightly raining which meant i was now wet.

i use my phone flashlight as a torch in order not to wake anyone up, as i tread up the stairs and straight into the bathroom. the lights were dim and i could barely see, but it set atmosphere. i opened the window as it was pitch black and no one could see in.

i rip my shirt off immediately, flinging it around my hand as i lean in to the shower and turn it on to a warm temperature. i step back out and unbuckle my jeans, pulling them off and onto the floor along with my socks. i run my hands through my hair as i step into the shower, the warm water embracing my skin.

the dark atmosphere made it feel intimate, almost sensual. it was so relaxing to feel so warm after being outside in the bitter rain.

but i couldn't get the image out of my head. the image of evie in the car. despite how mean she was to me, i was still thoroughly attracted to her. almost enjoyed it. fuck i sound like a pussy. i enjoyed her being mean to me.

it turned me on.

i throw my head back in annoyance, before placing both my hands before me on the tiled wall. i drooped my head down as i looked at the floor.

what the fuck is wrong with me?

memories of everything embarrassing to happen today flooded in my mind.
the spilling of the drinks?
evie seeing me shirtless?
her ignoring me?
ben being there?

i suddenly felt a rush of insecurity. i could get her out of my mind. she looked beautiful, and what was i?

i never cared about my looks before, but she made me want to start caring. i mean, it's not like i don't work out, because i do. but i never care about how my face looks. maybe she's into that? like a pretty boy?

i throw my head back along with my hair. thoughts flooded in and out of my head.

i turn the shower water to cold and endure it. i stand still, letting the water flow through my hair, dripping into my face.

i stood there for 20 minutes, just thinking about my night before finally turning off the water and stepping out. i wrapped my lower body in the towel before grabbing another to dry my hair with. i unlock the door, steppping out and heading towards my bedroom before slamming my door and sitting on my bed. the windows were open, meaning my curtains were blowing in the wind, painting a cool atmosphere.

i grab my phone. 3:34am. i unlock it to see a sudden barrage of notifications from my friends.

"where are you!?"

"have you left!?"

"are you dropping us off?"

i throw my head back and roll my eyes. driving is a blessing and a curse. i start typing.

"sorry guys, i already left. you'll have to make your own way home" sent 3:35am

"sorry guys, i already left. you'll have to make your own way home" read 3:35am

typing....

"i hate you"

i read it and turn my phone off. i can't always be everyone's taxi driver. i climb into bed and throw the duvet over me as i face the ceiling, my eyes wide open.