All the Little Secrets

CHAPTER 3. CROWN

Chapter 3: Crown

With my successful avoidance strategies and their all-day sports camps, I'm able to steer clear of both Liam and Becca for the rest of the week. I even have Millie send dinners to my bedroom with the excuse of 'studying to catch up for school'. I write instead of studying, anger and sadness and loneliness flowing from my heart onto the pages of my journal.

Today is different, sadly. It's Thursday, the first day of school.

I can no longer avoid them both.

I sigh loudly as I walk out of my bathroom, freshly showered from my run. My blue flowered sundress fits perfectly as I pair it with sandal flats. I flash dry my hair and quickly curl the ends. I wash my face, moisturize, put on some mascara with lip gloss, and shrug at my nervous, sleep-deprived reflection. This will have to do.

My favorite school bag, stuffed with new supplies and my classroom books, waits for me by my bedroom doors. I throw it over my shoulder and admire the scribbles of ink that decorate the entire tan bag. My favorite song lyrics and my poetry, years of memories with friends and Marco back home. My fingers trace slowly over Marco's handwriting as a heaviness settles on my heart. I unlock my phone and reread last night's text from him...

have a great first day tmrw miss u

I breathe through the tightness in my chest, and text my best friend back.

Miss you so much. Here I go...

Becca sits in the kitchen at the large island, eating grapefruit and discussing its weight loss benefits with my mom. I hold back my thoughts when Becca comments that my mom should try eating it. Mom, being good-hearted and somewhat naïve, tells Becca that trying it sounds like a great idea. I make a mental note to tell her that she is perfect just the way she is.

Parker sits at the kitchen table with Liam. Liam has on a sleeveless tank with long sports shorts, allowing his freckled-bronze skin and muscular arms to show off to the world. His hair is messily done, looking as if he just walked out of the shower. They are chatting about Malibu Middle School, and how its campus shares space with the high school. Liam glances over, but looks away when I meet his eyes. Byron and William's conversation centers around Byron's soccer league and his exceptional talent. William seems overly serious about his children and their athletics. I wonder what he thinks of Parker and me, two creative kids who play zero sports?

"Good morning, sunshine," my mom calls out to me as she hands Millie dishes for her to clean. Seeing her use Millie and not use her own two hands to clean the dishes puts me in a weird mood. "You look beautiful. Did you have a good run this morning?"

"I did."

"Are you hungry?"

My stomach growls angrily.

"Not really," I lie. I want to find an escape, a place where I don't have to play nice, or be fake, or pretend I like any of this. I wish it was all a bad dream, and that when I wake up, I will be back home in my old bed, in my small bedroom in our small apartment, where life was real and uncomplicated.

"You should eat something," my mom pushes, handing me an apple. "Oh! William was telling me how Malibu High has a great track team. You should check it out! Great scholarship opportunities."

I blush and look down at the apple in my hand. "Yeah, maybe..."

Becca stands up, throwing away half of her eaten grapefruit. She's in her cheerleading outfit, black and teal long sleeve on top that sports the word "Malibu", with a short black skirt on the bottom. It's Malibu High tradition for the cheerleaders to wear their uniform on the first day of school and for each game night, she shared last night; shows school spirit.