All the Little Secrets

CHAPTER 14. HATE ME

Chapter 14. Hate Me

I awake the next morning feeling thankful for nothing in my life. I ask my mother to take me to school, completely ignoring everyone in the kitchen. My mother looks worried as she stares at me. I don't blame her; my hair looks ratted in a messy bun, I didn't bother to put on makeup so it enhances my puffy eyes, my sweatshirt is a size too big; I'm in ripped sweats, and I honestly could care less about any of it.

"You sure you want to go to school today?" my mother asks as Becca looks at Liam. He looks down at his breakfast. "You can stay home."

"I'm going whether you take me or not," I snap at her. Everyone now looks at me. "If you won't drive me, then I will run."

I turn to leave the mansion but my mother follows with her car keys. We don't speak on the way to school. Once we arrive, I leave without saying goodbye and walk straight to the Chambers classroom. I interrupt Mrs. Leyva, who is in mid-sentence with another student, and demand her to transfer me out of her classroom.

"Kenzie, why don't you wait outside?" Kenzie eyes me before she walks out of Chambers. Mrs. Leyva shakes her head. "No, Avery. I will not lose another talent, absolutely not."

"Another talent?"

"Seth has transferred out," she explains. "Whatever's going on with you and him, and Liam," she adds with her eyebrows raised, "Save it for outside of Chambers. You will stay."

"Fine," I agree, more for her happiness than for mine. Before she can say anything more, I leave the classroom.

Farrah is standing with Seth outside of Building B, both talking intensely, but I walk by them without saying anything. Seth looks like complete crap, again; my heart hurts at the sight of him. Farrah calls my name but I ignore her. With all that Seth's going through, he needs her more than I do, and I refuse to come between their friendship. He doesn't want me, so I will give him what he needs: me out of his life.

Farrah doesn't call out again, and I walk alone to Building A. When I get to Mr. Brady's classroom, Liam and Jasmine are sitting next to my usual seat. Instead of sitting with them, I trudge to the back of the classroom, sitting at a desk by itself; my own little island. Jasmine looks back at me but I look down at my notebook, pretending they're not there.

I remind myself why I'm doing this: I have to distance myself from Jasmine because she's dating Jason, who is best friends with Cage, which leads me back to Liam. Right now in my life, I could do with less of Liam and all the pain that comes from being in his orbit. I sneak a glance to the front of the room as Mr. Brady begins class. Jasmine is visibly hurt as she whispers with Liam. It hurts me to hurt her, but this is what I have to do to survive the rest of this horrible year.

The day drags on and I'm a fly on the wall: the invisible girl. No one pays me any attention, and I revel in it. Even Morgan ignores my existence. I find happiness that the drama has ceased, at least for the day.

I eat lunch alone again in the bathroom and I think of Marco. How much I want to text him and tell him everything and have him say the right things like he always does, but I decide not to. I don't want to burden his life. He's dating that girl Erin, and I've barely heard from him in the past few weeks. He's moving on with his life, and there's no reason for me to hold him back.

I finish my sandwich and leave the bathroom.

The end of the day finally arrives and Mrs. Leyva wishes us a great break. The bell rings and I gather my stuff to leave.

"Hey," Becca approaches me.

"Hi."

"Do you need a ride home? I'm skipping practice today."