All the Little Secrets

CHAPTER 9. BLACKOUT

Chapter 9. Blackout

The week races by with classes, homework, friends, and family dinners. During the day Seth, Farrah, and I are inseparable, and I'm breaking through the walls that Farrah has up. It helps that Seth is more himself again, his laughter loud and boisterous.

During the nights, I'm either hanging out with Seth writing music together, wrapped up in our own bubble; or on my late-night phone calls with Marco. Marco doesn't hide his disappointment when I talk about Seth, but I know deep down he's happy that I have someone to hang with. He even shared about his first date with a girl named Erin from his math class. Marco says she can never compare to me, but I spend the next few hours disputing him.

Some nights I wake up with Parker crawling into my bed, and even though our conversations are short, I find solace in our need for each other.

The upcoming week brings October, and the first week of October is Spirit Week, ending with Homecoming. Spirit weeks are my favorite.

It's Saturday and my mom and I have a shopping trip planned together, our first outing in a long time. I wake up early, excited to find a dress for my own special homecoming with Seth. As I eagerly clamber down the stairs, I run into my mom standing with Becca at the bottom step, dressed and ready to go. Becca looks at me displeased, while my mom smiles brightly.

"We were waiting for you. Becca's going to come with us today!"

Becca, the opposite of enthused, grips her purse. "Let's make this quick."

She walks out of the mansion, leaving the doors open to follow.

"Please tell me you are kidding," I plead with my mom.

She sighs. "William asked for her to tag along," my mom's tone is apologetic, which surprises me. She leans in and adds, "Believe me, I would change it if I could."

I smile at her, catching a glimpse of the woman she used to be before entering this world. I follow her out and into the car that William bought for her. I resort to sitting in the back since Becca claimed the front.

We arrive at Rodeo Drive and begin our shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue. Becca has an attendant running around the store as she changes into a million dresses before I even try on one. Becca looks amazing in all of them, but she's not happy. Never satisfied.

My mom helps Becca find other dresses while I scan on my own. I discover an off-the-shoulder lace blue dress, form-fitting and coming just above my knees. Taking it off the rack, I head to the dressing room. Becca follows close behind with a dark gold dress in tow. My mom waits for us to emerge from our dressing rooms.

Becca emerges first in her halter-neck gold shimmering dress. My mom exclaims how perfect it is on Becca, and for once, Becca agrees, sharing that the gold compliments her sun-bronzed skin. Both Becca and my mom turn as I approach them in my dress. My hands run down the intricate leaf beading that decorates the dress. Becca's eyebrows raise as my mom claps her hands.

"Honestly," Becca begins, and I breathe deeply, bracing for the insult. "You look really good in that."

My head whips quickly at her. "What did you say?"

"You look great. That's the winner," Becca tries to smile but it's more of a grimace. She goes back into the dressing room. I look at my mom in shock, and she is smiling back. Did Becca just compliment me? Stunned, I change back into my regular clothes.

After we pay for our dresses, we stop for lunch at The Rooftop where I met Seth and Farrah. My mom looks comfortable chatting nonchalantly with Becca after having spent $4,000 on our Homecoming dresses, which leaves me nauseated. I cringe when she drops another credit card on the table, knowing it's William's money that pays for her new, lavish lifestyle. I guess mine now, too.