Everyone Screams To Things Unseen

The confusion and lack of guidance struggles

I feel as though I am of greater worth than my counterparts, I don't believe they can even began to accurately describe the sense of belonging and comfortability I feel when I live my daily life as I walk, talk and breathe amongst strangers I am creating art in their minds as I silently tell them a story since words in public are spoken in vain then I will have to work with the very little actions I can to actually use without being perceived as too much.

As I run on the treadmill in my local gym a man steps right on the treadmill next to me then he turns and looks at me, I can see him in the mirror head towards eyes on me as he stares at me up and down, he's sizing me up in his little fantasy land I thought, I instantly turned my head towards him as I ran on the treadmill that day and I levled my eyes and head towards his as he faced me, he's just standing on the treadmill with his body towards me and he's not working out he's rather old and even has white hair, it's starting to get weird because he's not braking eye contact I thought as I stared at him, it's not weird a voice in me thought, your 23 it's not like your underage so he can pretty much stare at you like your an animal at the zoo, no another thought in me he's just curious is all, it's not weird that someone is staring at you I thought as the old man and I made eye contact, I looked him up and down, I made a face and suddenly the words Ewe!, leaped out of my mouth as I began to feel invaded ...i can't do this I thought, I instantly jumped off the treadmill and went to one a bit further from the old man, why can't things just be normal, why cant I just exchange emotions and gestures plainly, why do people always have to interrupt my being when I am just being yet why do I let "them" get to me?

I can't tell whether what some men do is perversion or normality, I can't tell if I'm being manipulated and tricked or if I'm being treated normally in the emotional exchange of many.
.....its exhausting:(