25 Letters [h.s]

Letter 9

The hospital room was so white I thought I was in heaven for a solid thirty seconds. I think the first thought that entered my mind was 'am I dead?' I could see my mom talking to a what seemed like a doctor, they played tennis with words like 'amnesia' and 'coma'.

Harry. Where was he? Where was I? What happened? I looked down my body, noticing the casts and splits, noticing the fingers laced with mine. Harry! I trailed my eyes up his arm that was littered in tattoos, I've never noticed these ones on him though. When I caught a glimpse of the boy, my heart sunk. I know it's Louis, Harry's best friend, but we were never close, why was he here?

"Mom?" I could barley croak, why the hell was my mouth so dry?

I watched as my mother's stone cold face transformed into sunshine and spring time. Her eyes watered, salted tears daring to spill out of the rims of her eyes. Her equally as dry voice told me she has never been happier. Louis had awoken in amid of all the action, waiting in line for a hug with a wide grin spread across is gentle lips.

"Sweetheart, you're awake!" It pained me to hear the hurt in her voice, but I forced a smile so she wouldn't feel too bad.

"How long was I asleep for? Why am I here? Where's Harry?" My mother's face returned to her state of coldness, like I had reached dangerous territory. Is he okay?

"Anastasia, you've been in coma for four days, after your car crash on the way back from Harry's grave." And just like that, the memories wouldn't stop rolling in my head like a bad movie. He was dead, Harry. I don't quite remember exact moments, but I remember feelings. I can recall the feeling of sadness and constant pain. I flash backed to a morning that felt lifetimes ago, it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it felt like the whole world was alive. I remember not wanting to get out of bed, I remember attempting to cry a river.

I remember the feeling of losing him. It was like trying to hold onto water; right when I knew I had gotten it, it would slip right through my finger tips. I couldn't process it.

Suddenly, I wished for all of them to be gone. I wished that I could remember everything and if I had forgotten that Harry was dead, what else could of slipped by me?

"Do I have amnesia?" I blurted, doctor and my mom shared a look I wasn't supposed to see.

The man in a white coat pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose, finding the words to answer me. "We don't know for sure but we are guessing you have traumatic amnesia. It's common for someone in a car accident. Not to freak you out, but a normal symptom of this is you may have a a brief loss of consciousness, sometimes a coma; just like you had. But on the bright side, this type of amnesia is often temporary, the longer it will last depends on the severity of the accident. In your case, the accident was pretty sever, but not to your head more so your body. Thankfully, the most your head was involved with the accident was when the air bag was set off! So you should regain most of your memory back within the next few days, maybe a week if you do have traumatic amnesia. We'll run some tests later and then you'll know for sure."

My mom and I nodded, trying to keep our composure.

Louis' eyes were burning bullet holes in my skull. I met his sunken eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, resembling the ocean and outlined in circles of red. He squeezed my hand tighter, letting me know he will always be there. I smiled at him, and that was the first time I ever saw him cry. He was wasting the ocean on me.

I sat up to hug him, he told me I had him worried sick, I told him I'm fine even though I wasn't the judge of that.

They all left soon afterwards, leaving me alone to think and regain some strength. It took me a few hours to recollect everything that has happened. From Harry's passing, to all his love sick letters I had lived off of. From the first day Louis and I had met up, to our budding friendship. All his promises to keep me safe to Harry, everything he does for me is for Harry. I doubt Louis Tomlinson, the man who owns more Gucci and Prada than the Kardashions, would do anyone beside Harry, his best friend, a favor.