25 Letters [h.s]

Letter 10

From what I've heard, my accident wasn't fatal and I'd be fine to go home in a week. The doctors confirmed that my memory will come back to me in good time, maybe a month to get everything back. So that meant seven more days of sleeping all day, except when an old friend stopped by with flowers or when I needed to take my medication, or of coarse when Louis dropped by.

He'd show up every few days, red stained in the husks around his eyes, sadness blooming like dead flowers throughout the blue rings surrounding Louis' pupil. I knew it hurt, I was his trophy of how much of a terrible best friend he must of been. The only thing Harry has ever asked of Louis, he had failed to do. I felt more pity for him than I felt for myself.

Louis would tell me stories of Harry that always brought crescent moons to my punctured lip, he'd tell me of all the times he'd talked of me to him or just how it felt to be near Harry. I knew I sounded boring, begging him to tell me of the first time Louis had heard of me even though Louis recited it the last time I was here. Louis was really good at story telling though, he'd say the same old story but make it so much more exciting than the first time around. He said growing up with two little sisters make you pick up skills you never intended to.

Occasionally, if he hadn't stopped by in sometime, I'd ask him how his day was the day before. He'd put on the same mask of mystery he'd wear when I asked him what the hell he does for a living. He'd shrug his shoulders, shaking off my riddles like they were dust.

Living in the hospital meant no letters. I think Louis could sense how important they were to me, because he had managed to sneak one out for me, the tenth one.

"How did you even get this? My family lives there, how did you get past them?" He only chuckled, telling me he is good with getting his way.

He's hard to understand, Louis. You never know whats going on in his head, he never shows emotion. It was nice to see him smile or laugh, it was nice to see that in the end, Louis wasn't some sort of robot.

I didn't want anyone to see the letter, the secrets Harry wrote specifically for me, so Louis agreed to taking the letter back with him when he left, adding it back to the box.

"I'll be right outside, just call me in when you're done reading it." With that, he'd smile and step out of the room.

  Dear Anastasia,

How are you doing? I hope well.

I was thinking about us, about how happy I always feel around you. Like my heart is safe with yours, like the world is full of color, like you are mine. I love it and most of all, I love you.

We spent the day together today, getting ice cream and watching old films; our favorite pass time for we do it every weekend probably. There was never a dull moment, I felt like the sun would never set. Everything you had to say, I had the ears to listen. It was perfect, you and I.

That got me thinking about all the bad times. I know I already wrote about my mother's passing, but if you know it or not, that was actually the first time I ever cried in front of you.

I had a theory, if you will, when I was in school. It was to never cry at school if you're hurt, because after everyone saw you crying you would cry out embarrassment and pain.

Kind of the same thing applied to me when you saw me that way. It was after I came home from the hospital. When you walked in after work, I was bawling my eyes out unaware of your presence. Then, I felt an arm around my shoulder, I felt your little hand on my cheek and I felt like a fool. I'm not supposed to cry in front of you, I wasn't supposed to let you see me with red eyes and tears down my face. I felt worse than before as you helped me up and got me something to eat that day. You didn't care that I was a complete mess, and I admired that. You really cared about me, I know for a fact you were the only reason I could make it through that month.

Everything we've ever been through, our ups and downs, our highs and lows; nothing mattered other than for at the end of the day I had you. You were the shoulder I could lean on and I'm forever grateful that people like you exist.

Love,

Harry Styles

My eyes began to water, I could feel the hotness of the tear drop as it rolled down my cheek. I felt my mouth curve up, letting my emotions take over my face. I was happy, and as morbid as the letter might have been, I was so so happy that I could remember every single thing Harry had wrote about. I was overtaken by the love I felt for Harry, letting him wash over me. I loved him, I wanted to hold him. As soon as my heart could be filled with love, it filled with grief. I could see him, I could hear him, he was so clear in my dreams. I tried so hard to touch him, to feel this person that I felt at most love for, and I couldn't.

"I'm done reading it." I called, Louis putting his phone away immediately and walking in. I know he noticed my tear stained cheeks, but I knew he wouldn't verbally acknowledge them.

"I'm sorry Anastasia, I got an emergency at work. You'll be out of here soon, we could do something then. I'll put the letter back, I hope you feel better Ana." Louis said, aware I'm curious about what his job is.

"It's okay. I'm used to being let down." I told him, sarcasm painted on my words. He pouted and I giggled, indicating I was fine and that I wasn't really let down. He came down to my level, kissed my forehead and grabbed the letter simultaneously, sticking it in his back pocket.

Then I held my gaze to Louis' back as he turned out of my room, making this little room feel more empty and big than it had before.