25 Letters [h.s]

Letter 6

I don't know how long I slept that night, although I did know I wanted to sleep until I disappeared. I wanted to sleep until I was a ghost, until I wasn't worried about. I wanted to sleep until the sun would be no more, until the skies would fall. More importantly, until I had Harry back.

It seems like I wasn't blessed with my desire because just like every other long day started, I opened my eyes. My head was pounding, it hurt to think. I wouldn't say that I was ever okay about Harry's passing, but I was getting better. Some mornings I'd forget Harry, like he didn't even exist. Some times I'd laugh, not a fake made-up one. Rarely, I'd feel happy. For a minute I'd feel like this weight has lifted off my shoulders, as if I was floating. Right after those moments though, I would go right back to drowning in misery.

But I knew today wasn't going to be one of those weightless days. It was easy to sink right back into sadness, and last night seemed to set me off. I couldn't help but replaying the video over in my head, remembering the way his breath could be seen, the fire in his eyes.

Then the next thing I know, I was burning with anger. Louis, it was all his fault. He knew

full well he could stop Harry from jumping, Louis probably got the message while Harry was still alive. How fucking easy would it be to call him, to save his best friend's life.

I didn't think as I scrolled through my contacts, looking for Louis Tomlinson. With hesitating I called him. Louis picked up after the first ring.

"Anastasia?" his voice sounded like he was half asleep.

"Louis fucking Tomlinson."

"That's not my middle name."

"God, shut up. This is all your fault, you could of fucking called Harry. You could of saved his goddamn life."

"Ana, calm down."

"No, you don't get to call me 'Ana' what the hell Louis. He was your best friend."

"Let me explain, please. There's a reason, everything has a purpose." He sounded so flustered, I wanted nothing more than to give in but I couldn't, I was far too stubborn.

"To hell with explaining I have to go."

"Ana, sorry Anastasia, please remember that he I did care about him, like you said he was my best friend. Don't hold me responsible for Harry's attempt. Goodbye." The line cut, dead silence erupted. I hung up, wanting so badly to call him back up and let him explain himself. I wanted him to talk about Harry, just stupid things they may have done together.

I checked my notifications, realizing I had a few texts from my sister and mom.

11:15 am, Mom- is everything okay? Your father and I are out getting brunch with Margret, we'll be back around 1 or 2. I was thinking you me and Margret could do something when you're up, stay safe!

8:02 am, Margret- Mom told me you had to leave with Louis, I hope everything is okay. We'll have to catch up, we haven't went to the movies or the mall in forever. I'm sorry you couldn't stay last night. Love you loads.

I didn't reply, I had nothing to say. I had no interest in doing anything, I could barley drag myself downstairs to the kitchen to eat. But I did anyways, bringing the 6th letter down with me.

  Dear Anastasia,

Hello darling, I hope you are doing well, I hope you are having a lovely day or night. My day has been going better than usual so I decided to write this, because unlike the past few, this is going to be on the untroubled side. I met Louis, I met you in college. Easily the best few years of my life.