𝑨 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒓

하나

Being in the studio for the past three days hadn't been easy. Struggling not to slip and focusing was such an exhausting task to accomplish. The worst part of it was the fact that my head was pounding, and my eyes were itching as I hadn't slept for the past three days. I had locked myself in the dusty studio.

I wanted to leave, but the fear of being yelled at by S.coups for missing some rehearsals held me back from going back to the dorms. I took a deep sigh to focus again on the song I should be completing, helplessly trying to ignore the headache that slowly became worse, suddenly losing the ability to see clearly. Leading back into my office chair, closing my eyes, letting my friend, The Dark, consume me for a second until I heard the door swing open. The sound felt far away even though the door was close to me, trying to focus on the voice, which seemed to drift away faster, which was impossible as I felt a presence next to me.

Until the world entirely disappeared around, and I hovered around in nothing but darkness. After a bit of hovering around in the peace of the darkness, I felt ready to open my eyes again. I felt movement, which confused me until I noticed I was being carried. I could feel a pair of arms around me and the smell of woodsy perfume. I couldn't help but think that THE8 was the one carrying me.

I let out a sigh of relief before my eyes closed again, holding onto my bandmate. When I awoke, I felt a soft material underneath me and another pair of arms around me. Rolling to the side to see Vernon was the owner of the arm made me smile; I had to go to the bathroom.

As sneaky as a fox and quiet as a fish, I went to the bathroom and used it, slowly feeling my little side come through. I locked myself up in there, not wanting the others to know or see me. I wasn't shy, just afraid of them not liking me.

Sitting there, I realized I didn't have my secret little space equipment with me. I wanted to leave but couldn't since Vernon was there, and he wasn't one of the heavy sleepers people thought him to be. Hearing the bedroom door opened next to me, I froze, even though I was in the bathroom.

I heard someone, presumably Jun, mumble something before I heard his bed squeak. I held my breath as I was stuck in here. I better left when I could to my bedroom, than I hadn't been stuck in the situation. Leaning against the back wall of the bathroom with my head, I closed my eyes until I heard footsteps approach and stop in front of the bedroom door.

Hearing a soft knock on the bedroom door, I heard a deep groan come from Jun. before he stood up and walked to the door.

"Jun Hyung, where's Jihoonie Hyung?" I heard Dino ask. He was the one who would ask quicker for me and call me "Jihoonie" instead of "Woozi."

I tried my hardest to stay silent. I didn't want them to find me. It felt like hiding and go seek, but much deadlier since my sudden slip. But another part of me didn't want them to worry. So I just sat there, as if I was waiting for a storm to pass. Instead of thunder, it was my heart beating fast, and instead of strong wind, it was my quick yet quiet breaths. They were right there, only separated by a door and its hinges. What if they looked at me differently afterward? That was the last thing I wanted to happen.

"Vernon, wasn't Jihoon with you?" I heard Jun's voice ring through my mind, and right afterward, a groan coming from Vernon who perhaps sat up sleepily and stretched slightly.

"Yeah, he was," I heard Vernon's voice dripping with annoyance and sleep. I was frightened to leave. Now I was sure I'd stay here for the rest of the night. I started to feel tired, and my thumb went to my mouth as the darkness came over me. The voice faded away slowly as I fell into a peaceful sleep. I slept on the ground a lot, especially when I accidentally fell into my headspace. I locked myself up if not in the bathroom that was attached to my studio or bedrooms.

I used to cry myself to sleep in little space, since I didn't have a caregiver or someone who knew I was a little. However, now I didn't have the energy to do anything, even though sometimes I wanted to cry so badly when being alone, sometimes out of frustration or out of anger.

I wasn't angry at the members, but myself for not wanting to tell them or not wanting to find myself in little space. Sometimes I ended up thinking, 'What if they knew, they'd hate me,' or 'What if they know, should I have 12 caregivers at once?' Yet, at the end of the day, I'd still be alone since I'm too scared to tell anyone or to let them find out about it.

I suddenly woke up slightly as I heard a door be unlocked. Even if not fully awake, my mind began to wonder if they had a spare key to the bathroom. I sensed a presence looming in front of me, and then I felt two strong arms wrapping around me, subconsciously tucking my face into the person's neck to smell a woody scent with a handful of Roses' passage mixed in.

I could recognize it as THE8's perfume. He liked manly perfumes with a feminine undertone, which was the smell of roses at the moment. He walked out of the bathroom with me in his arms, while I slipped deeper into my slumber again, just hearing.

"Why was he sleeping in there?" Someone's voice rang through my ears before I completely fell asleep in THE8's arms.