𝑨 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒓

둘

Upon awakening, I discovered that I wasn't in the bathroom situated on the ground or in my own bedroom, but rather in THE8s bedroom. Which he shared with Seungkwan and Jun. I arose and noticed that I was alone, glancing at the alarm clock situated on the side of the bed. Sitting up in a hurry, as it was noon, I stood up and hurried to my room to change into something else. On the way to my room, I bumped into our leader, S.coups. I wanted to continue my stroll, but he held me and sighed.

"In such a rush for nothing," S.coups spoke. I froze right away. 'For nothing,' I thought. That's not true. I had to make my way to the studio to complete the song for Carats and make my way to the practice room to practice our "Ready to Love" comeback. I tried to pull away from the leader's hold, which didn't work, as his grip only became stronger.

"As I said before, there's no reason to hurry, Jihoon-shi," he said again as he massaged the back of my neck. I felt my body go weak and relax, yet my mind went crazy. I might be small, but my thoughts are the opposite. They were enormous, overwhelming, and hella scary sometimes. My eagerness to complete music and perfect the skills I already had was important. I didn't want to let down the fans or the members.

A trail of footsteps could be heard from behind us both. This person came closer and closer towards us until they stopped, and I could smell that same woody fragrance and a comforting pair of arms once again wrapped around me. I slightly froze until the person turned me around, and there he was, The8. Almost instinctively, I leaned into his chest and shut my eyes. The moment of comfort was abruptly interrupted by Vernon's voice.

"Jihoon, why were you locked in the bathroom?" I tensed up slightly at Vernon's voice. I couldn't find a voice to speak. It felt like my brain stopped working. It dawned on me. It could be the chance to tell them about my little space, but there was one of my friends called Fear. I wanted to melt away from the earth's ground.

"Hyung, let it rest," Dino's voice came through. I suddenly felt like the hallway had become too small and crowded for me. I wiggled out of THE8's hold and fled to the safety of my room, throwing the door and its lock behind my back. I jumped underneath the blankets of my bed, grabbing a stuffed animal I got from a fan a while ago.

I laid in bed, hiding from everything and everybody. I had forced myself not to slip for over 2 months until yesterday, yet I didn't feel like it was full. I knew forcing myself to stay out of it would cause me to go into baby space when I'd make a full slip, but I couldn't. I didn't have a caregiver. It's already hard enough to take care of myself in little space. I'm a workaholic. That's why they and the staff tend to lock me out of my studio sometimes and take away my phone.

I'd be the one sulking. However, at the end of the day, I'd be thankful to them, as I could relax. Even though the voices in my head told me to work, said I was holding back the team and letting down the fandom, I loved my work and everything we had achieved. But did it mean I grew? Not necessarily, but people liked me for the most part of the time.

When I surfaced from underneath the blanket, a lot of time had passed by. "Did I sleep? No, I don't think so." Was I so drunk on my thoughts that I lost time? Anyway, I stood up and walked down the hallway towards the living room. The eerie silence of the dorm was scary. I continued the stroll, entering the living area, noticing how dark it was. I felt a shiver run down my spine, and my breathing became slowly faster as I looked around, noticing nothing but darkness. Why couldn't I see in the darkness?

"Jeonghan Hyung!" I yelled. Unfortunately, I didn't get any response. I tried to call the other Hyung, but they didn't answer. I tried to call the younger, yet again, no answer. I looked around to check again; no one but me was in the empty living room. It felt cold, yet no window was opened. Walking back to the kitchen to take a snack, I frowned as I was met with an empty fridge and kitchen cupboards. I froze and decided to check all the bedrooms.

Looking through all the rooms, the reality dawned on me. I was left alone. Now the lump in my throat became bigger as I stood there. Everything seemed to disappear around me as my heart thumped against my chest so hard that it hurt me. I gave in to the feeling of my little side and just sat on the ground, crying.

"Jihoon-shi." A voice came through. I opened my eyes to see no one but emptiness around me and only cried more until I jolted awake in a cold sweat, with Jeonghan next, whose arms wrapped around me swiftly while I cried into his chest.

"It's okay, I've got you," he said softly as he slightly rocked me, slowly calming down.

Meanwhile, the others entered the room with a lot of stuff. In the end, all of us stayed in my room, and I stayed in Jeonghan's arms as he was cradling me gently.