to the moon & to saturn | cate blanchett

chapter 6

Cate led the younger girl to her personal favorite ride: the longest and tallest roller coaster at the park. It was a planet themed ride called 'To the Moon and to Saturn'.

As they were waiting in line, a little boy around 3 years old wandered up to them holding a stick of cotton candy.

"Hi, buddy," said Elle, kneeling down to his level. She looked around for his parental figures. "Are you lost?"

He looked at her with bright green eyes and bit off some of his cotton candy. He shook his head and pointed at a middle aged man who stood a couple of yards away.

With a mouthful of sugary fluff, he said, "Dat's my daddy! He finks your mommy is pwetty."

"She's very pretty, honey, but she's not my mom," said Elle without missing a beat, then added, "and she's taken."

"Where did they take her?" he gasped, eyes wide.

"Oh, no, sweetheart. No one took her anywhere. She's married, that's what I meant," giggled Elle.

She struggled to keep a straight face because the boy's innocence and curiosity was just too adorable.

"Oh, okay!" said the boy. He seemed pleased that he came over to tell Elle this information. He happily skipped back over to his family.

Elle stood up to face Cate, still beaming, but the smile wiped from her face when she saw that the older woman looked solemn.

"Do you have kids?" asked Elle, nervously playing with the straps of her backpack.

"No," said Cate curtly.

"I'm sorry," Elle bit her lip. "I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject."

Cate sighed, then apologized to Elle and said, "I've always wanted kids and I've always wanted to be a mother, but...it's too late now."

"Naturally, maybe. But adoption—"

"Andrew doesn't want to adopt," said Cate, cutting Elle off.

That was the first mention of Cate's husband between the two, and it significantly dampened the mood.

Elle tapped the railing with her nails, praying that the line would move faster. She and Cate both needed a distraction.

Cate broke the silence first.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did," she warned. Regret weighed heavily over her words.

"Like what?" whispered Elle.

Cate looked at the younger girl with a nostalgic melancholy expression. Elle's heart yearned to comfort the emotional pain in Cate's soul.

"Another time, dear. I'm afraid I'm ruining all of our fun. I do apologize," said Cate.

In a sudden switch, all of the pain was erased from her expression and replaced with one of her classic Cate smiles.

"You don't have to treat me like a child," said Elle, recognizing the familiar emotional switch that her mother often utilized on her when she was younger to shield her from bad news.

Cate opened her mouth, as if to respond, but promptly shut it.

They slowly moved through the line until they were next up. The current passengers buzzed in anticipation for the fun ride ahead.

"I don't mean to make you feel that way," said Cate. "You're an adult. You're far from a child."

"Thank you," said Elle. "I like to think I'm mature for my age."