I Refuse to Fangirl (1D fanfic)

Chapter 14

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He looks as shocked as I do. I don't think about it too long though. I do what I always do: I run. I run far and I run fast but I know I can't hide from the swirling emotions inside me. I can't hide from the words replaying in my head.

I can't hide from the fact that I want to say it back to him.

I want so badly to just let loose and say I love you to him, but I don't know what love is. I'm 16. For all I know, I'm gay. No...fairly certain that's not true...Anyways, not the point.

But Harry, the player, the bad boy, the pop star, he said he loves me. I can't help but let a small smile play on my lips.

We barely know each other but it feels like I know everything about him. I feel like I can judge his entire character, but deep inside me, I know that this is all just a lie. This is all a cruel joke on me. I don't know a thing about him. And maybe I do love him. That's the thing - I don't know.

I can't make a decision so soon in the relationship and in life in general.

I want to say it back. I want to let him know these feelings. I want him to know that right now, spending the rest of my life with him sounds blissful.

Still, the realist inside me is laughing. Cackling. Spitting in my face.

If I say something so soon, I could screw everything up. Then, our dead relationship would lie on my shoulders. I would lose the guy that's making me crazy in the best way possible.

I never had these issues with Brent. He was the super romantic, sappy guy that always knew what to say and when to say it. This whole romance thing is lost between Harry and me.

I'm back to the forest by the park. It's an impulse to run there. I don't know what I'm going to do. When I get back, I know Harry will still be there. I can't change that. He is going to wait there and I can't hide in a forest forever.

What's he going to think of me? He said I love you and I ran! Why must I be so stupid sometimes? Why don't I think things through?

I didn't think through what kissing Harry would do to my life and now here I am hiding behind a bush.

I curl up into a little ball, trying to make myself look as small as I feel. But that would be impossible, because at the moment, I feel microscopic. I feel like a small fish in a big pond. Like a blue bird in an eagle's nest.

Like a regular teenage girl dating a pop star.

How could things go downhill so fast?

"Chloe?" the voice is familiar in the worst possible way.

I look up, finding Niall's figure looking down at my own.

"What?"

"You do know you're in a bush right?" he points out.

I roll my eyes. "No, I had no idea. Thank you for letting me know."

He grasps my wrist and hoists me onto my feet. "No problem! Later I'll tell you that you have blonde hair, you're a girl, and you're beautiful."

My cheeks begin to burn at the last few words. I cough, feeling a sudden dryness in my throat. "Wh-what?"

He begins to burn the same shade of red. "Um..." He scratches the back of his neck. "I'll just go now."

"No, no!" I say immediately. "Niall it's okay!"

He turns around to look at me. "Wanna take a walk?"