Tough Luck ( Raphael X Reader )

Terrified

- At the top of the canyon -

April was pulled to safety.

" She let go. I fudging told her not to!" April said, tears streaming down her face.

" We tried... The rope was too weak, and the rocks were too unstable." Donnie said.

" But isn't she a shapeshifter? Can't she just turn into a fish?" Mikey asked.

" She got shot by an anti-mutagen bullet, Mikey." April said.

" Hey... We'll come back tomorrow and check the banks, see if she survived." Leo said.

" She went under, Leo, and I didn't see her come back up." April said.

Raph was quiet. She couldn't be dead. She promised she's come back.

" We need to find her!" Raph said at last.

" Not yet. When the river dies down, we'll search. Just... Let's go tell Splinter what happened." Leo said sadly.

Raph knew he was right.

-

The next day, they checked the banks. Nothing. They decided to come back later.

*Celeste is not dead. NightWind, Celeste, whatever she goes by. She is not dead. She can't be. She was going to come back. She was going to rejoin the team. You had her in your grip, and you let her let go! If you had just... Just held on... You could have saved her. But you let her go. You freaking, let, your best friend, drop into a freezing canyon, in the middle of winter!* April thought.
* I can't believe I pulled a Captain America.*

April sat down at the table, drinking coffee. Leo walked in the room.

" I shouldn't have let go." April said to herself.

Leo didn't know quite how to comfort her.

" April... Sometimes we just have to accept the unchangeable." Leo said. He immediately regretted it.

" I miss her." April winced. Now, her conscious would be haunted by her face. Those trusting (y/e/c) eyes, the look she gave her when she knew that one would not make it out.

* " April. Listen. We both CAN'T make it." She had said. April knew that, but she refused to accept it. She was April O'Neil. Fate always played her the right hand.
April had watched her look down, and her hand grip loosen.
" I made my purpose to keep my friends safe."
By that time, April was crying.
" And...today... I am going to fulfill it."
April shouted objection, and tried to hold onto her.
But she saw her let go. She felt her hand slipping, and her crash into the ice cold water.*

April kept having nightmares, either in the position she had been in, or watching it from above, trying desperately to help in ways I could never had done.

April's mind kept trapping her.

-

" You know... April..." Donnie said, as they were in the lab.

" What?" April dragged herself groggily from her mindset.

" Celeste... She was just being smart about the situation... Thanks to her, we didn't lose you."

" What?! You're comparing the death of my best friend, to being smart and logical?! Death is never logical, Donnie! It happens at the most unexpected times." April yelled, standing up.

" But-"

" And "thanks to her, we didn't lose you". Really?! Do you think her life was meaningless!? That she was created to just save me? She had a life, ahead of her. A husband, child, college degree. A career. And I let all of that, slip through my fingertips." April raged.

" But, if she hadn't let go... We would have lost both of you. April..." Donnie put a hand to her shoulder. " It's time to let it go."

" You didn't see her face! You didn't see how terrified she was. Her face said bravery while her eyes screamed fear. Every time I close my eyes, I see her. Her face, eyes, hair, her. And I just... I wish I could change it!" April threw his hand off and stormed out the door.