black & gold

Chapter 18

"You don't have to go," Tyler frowns and watches as Hannah packs up her duffel bag. It
had been two weeks since her and Grace had broken up and she moved in with Tyler.
"I do," Hannah nods and sits down beside Tyler on his bed, "I can never thank you
enough for letting me stay here, Ty."
"That's what friends are for," Tyler mumbles and plays with his fingers.
"Thank you for that, too. You've been the greatest friend I've ever had," Hannah
responds and reaches over, grabbing Tyler's hand in her own and squeezing lightly,
"You've been beside me for everything and you never asked for anything in return."
"God," Tyler exhales and wipes away a stray tear from his cheek, "You don't have to do
the sentimental crap, Hannah. I love you, okay? And I don't know what I'm going to do
without you now."
"You'll figure something out," Hannah smiles and punches Tyler in the arm, "You're
pretty good at that."
"Oh no," Tyler gasps suddenly and clasps a hand over his mouth, "You're going to leave
me alone with Stacey."
Hannah laughs, wholeheartedly, and shakes her head, "She's a really good person deep
down, alright? You'll be fine."
"You'll call me everyday, right? Every hour on the hour?"
"Jesus, Ty," Hannah shakes her head, "How about once a week?"
"I'll take it," Tyler grins and clasps his hands together, "And you're gonna come stay
with me for the holidays?"
"I wouldn't be anywhere else," Hannah smiles and wraps her arms around the boy she
had grown with for so long, "You're the closest thing I have to home."
"This is your home," Tyler sighs and clutches onto Hannah tighter, "Don't ever forget it."
-
"Hey," Grace gives Hannah a soft smile, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to say goodbye," Hannah says simply and shoves her hands in her pockets.
"You going somewhere?" Grace laughs and crosses her arms, leaning against her
doorway.
Hannah nods, "I'm leaving Los Angeles."
"You're... what?" Grace's face falls as the words leave Hannah's mouth.
"I can't stay here," Hannah exhales and runs a hand through her hair, "I need a change."
Grace swallows and nods slowly, "Where are you gonna go?"
Hannah laughs, "I don't know yet. Maybe San Francisco. Maybe New York. The world is
mine to explore."
"What about school?"
"Don't worry about me, alright?" Hannah smiles weakly and punches Grace in the arm in
a friendly gesture, "I'll be fine. I have it all under control."
"Are you sure?" Grace responds, feeling her eyes grow hot. She knew that things were
over with her and Hannah - that much was clear. She just didn't know that she'd have to
let Hannah out of her life completely.
"Yeah," Hannah nods, "Grace, I... I need this. Desperately."
"I know," Grace responds and frowns at her feet, "I just didn't think you'd leave so soon.
Or leave Los Angeles, at that."
"Yeah, well," Hannah shoves her hands in her pockets and sighs, "I want to get as far
away from this place as possible," Grace nods in understanding and Hannah continues,
"What about you? You gonna be alright here?"
"I think so," Grace smiles softly, "Want to know a secret?"
"Always," Hannah grins in return.
"I'm quitting track on Monday. I'm trying out this new thing where I don't do things just
because I'm good at them. I'm gonna try to do things that I actually like for once," Grace
says and her cheeks flush pink at the sentiment.
"Fuck, Grace," Hannah shakes her head, "That's amazing. Not just for you, but for the
Central High team," When Grace gasps in shock, Hannah laughs, "I'm kidding, I'm
kidding. I'm really proud of you, though. You deserve this."
"Thanks," Grace smiles shyly before clearing her throat, "So, um... would a hug be too
much to ask for before you leave?"
"Grace Helbig offering up physical contact?" Hannah feigns shock and brings a hand to
her heart, "Call the paramedics."
Grace rolls her eyes to herself and doesn't respond - instead she simply wraps Hannah up
in her long arms and buries her face in her neck, "I'm going to miss you so much."
It's nothing more than a whisper, but Hannah hears it. She holds onto Grace tighter and nods in understanding. She wants to return the sentiment but she can't get her lips to form
the words. Because, in all honesty, Hannah isn't even certain that she can vocalize just
how much she'll miss the girl wrapped up in her arms.
"Hey, uh... will you promise me something?" Hannah asks when she pulls away from the
blonde.
"Anything," Grace responds.
"Make people laugh," Hannah responds and shakes her head, "I don't care how you do it,
just... just fucking make people laugh, Grace. That's what you're meant to do."
Grace smiles at the ground and attempts to hide her blush, "I'll try."
"Good," Hannah nods, "Anyway, I have to get going. I have an appointment I need to get
to."
"Alright, well... I'll see you around?"
"Yeah," Hannah grins, "I'll see you around."
Hannah reluctantly turns on her heel and makes her way back to her poorly parked
Hyundai. As Grace watches the brunette walk away, she feels a twinge of pain in her gut.
A pain that tells her that this may in fact be the last time she'll ever see the girl she loved
so deeply. So dearly. A pain that tells her that this really did happen. But most of all, a
pain that tells her that she's finally alive - that she's done mindlessly going through the
motions of her life.
Hannah Hart woke her up.
-
Hannah takes a seat in the old, wooden chair opposite a desk that makes her seem small
by comparison. She runs her hands over the armrests and nervously taps her feet.
You can do this.
"Hannah Hart?" A female voice asks and Hannah spins around, jumping out of her chair
to greet the tall, brunette woman that's nearing towards her.
"Yeah, hi, that's me," Hannah grins nervously and extends her hand to shake the older
woman's.
"So great to meet you, Hannah," The woman smiles warmly, black and gold rimmed
glasses perched on the tip of her nose, "You can call me Anne."
"Nice to meet you too, Anne," Hannah responds and takes her seat once again when Anne
situates herself on the other side of the desk. "So you sounded a little bit urgent on the phone. What can I do for you, Hannah?"
Hannah takes a shaky breath before speaking the five words that would change
everything. The five words that would be the beginning of an entirely new life. A life
without Grace. A life without her father. A life lived for herself.
"I want to be emancipated."
As the words leave her lips Hannah feels as if a weight had been lifted off her chest - one
that had slowly settled there and collected dust for the past sixteen years. And though the
words held a promise of crashing down everything safe and comfortable that she had,
Hannah didn't care.
Because for the first time in her life, she felt free.