I'm Sorry (RanbooxReader)

Part 23: They're Here

Y/N POV

Ranboo helps me up from the ground for the second time tonight. I wipe the blood off my nose.

"I think it's time we head home." Everyone agrees with me.

The blood keeps trickling out during the ride, but I couldn't care less. I've been through worse. Plus, Mom told me to stay strong.

On the way back, I notice that everyone looks excited. Did they really want to get back that bad? To each their own, I guess.

When we pull into the driveway, all of the lights are off. Thank God, I just want to sleep at this point. And take a shower to get the blood and dirt off of me. Hopefully, Sapnap is asleep. I don't want anyone else to see me like this.

Everyone was chattering by the cars instead of going inside.

Ranboo came over to me and took my hand. I didn't mind it, but I was a tiny bit uncomfortable.

"Your hands are ice cold." He stated.

I took my hand out of his. I speak softly. "That's what happens when you have anxiety."

He nodded.

"Are we allowed to go inside?" I ask. "They're all just standing over there."

"Yeah, we can go in."

I sigh in relief and open the door.

The lights are suddenly turned on while I hear multiple people yell, "Surprise!"

People jump out from behind couches and what not.

My heart pounds faster against my chest.

But soon, the people already in the house notice my appearance. The joy in their voices turn to concern.

Puffy comes up to me and inspects my bloody nose. "What happened, Y/N?"

I just hug her. She was always a mother figure to me in the SMP. But she never knew about my... problems.

It was best that way. So, she didn't feel obliged to help me.

I still feel terrible that everyone else knows now.

Ranboo rubs the back of his neck. "A waiter may have punched her in the nose because she liked me... And she also got hit by a car."

Minx yells. "WHAT?"

"It's okay. I'm okay. I just need to take a quick shower." I said reassuringly.

Inside, I was panicking. What if the rest told them about my problems? They wouldn't dare. They wouldn't. I hope.

"Okay. Go take a shower. We'll get everything ready for our party night." Ranboo said.

I nod and quickly make my way upstairs. Party night? I just wanted to sleep. Tonight has been so long.

I step into the shower and turn the faucet on. Ice cold water hits my body. I just stand there and wait for it to become scorching hot.

Once it does, I wash my hair, condition my hair, wash my body, and shave. Once I'm done shaving, I realize that the razor is still in my hand.

I've been clean for awhile. Oh, but how I crave those red lines...

My hands shake as I look at the blade.

Pounding starts in my ears. I start to bring the blade to my thigh...

"Y/N! Are you almost done?" Tommy yells through the door.

Im shaken out of my daze. "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute," I call back.

I put the razor down. Thank God for Toms.

I quickly dry my hair and put on some clothes. I put on something that makes me look good, but still comfortable. Well, look as good as possible. Nothing really flatters me.

I head downstairs and everyone looks at me.

"Happy Birthday, Y/N." Eret comes up to me.

I smile. "Thank you."

Hands snake around my waist. They pick me up and twirl me around.

Laughter escapes from me. The person puts me down.

"Karl!" I playfully push him.

He laughs his signature laugh. "What? I didn't do anything!"

"Oh, you are so on." I smile and walk away.

"Minx! Puffy!" I say as I near them.

They both engulf me in a hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Minx says in her thick Irish accent.

"So am I." I hug them tighter.

"Come on. Let's have some fun!" Puffy says.

Someone pulled out the bigger, blacker box of Cards Against Humanity.

"Oh, hell yes."

I exuse myself for a second to get a drink after playing for a little.

No one is in the kitchen... I could just spike my drink. I grab a coke and pur some vodka in. Nobody is going to know.

I return to the game, drink in hand. Sapnap gives me a questioning look, but I brush it off.

Halfway through the drink, my body starts to relax. It feels so good to be free of all the troubles that once racked my body.

I exuse myself for some fresh air. I make my way out back and lay on a lounge chair.

Many stars shine through the dark sky. I just wanted to be up there with them. So free, so careless, so beautiful, so bright, so hopeful.

But I'm down here.

Tommy sits next to me.

"Happy Birthday."

"Thanks, Toms."

He looks up at the stars with me.

"Ya know, my mom used to tell me that stars hold the souls of our passed loved ones. So that they can watch over us," I finish, still looking at the stars.

"I like that idea," he states. His voice is quite than usual.

I get off the lounge chair, as my neck is cramping from constantly looking up. Instead, I lay in the grass. Fireflies dance around my head.

He lays down next to me. "I don't know how to live without you, Y/N."

"Same to you, Tommy." My eyes travel to his face, and our eyes meet.

Tears threatened my eyes. So much has happened in my life. Hell, so much has happened in this day alone. But it was the little moments like this that made it all worth it. The little moments that are worth living for.

"I never want to leave this moment," I whisper.

"Neither do I."

I look back to the stars.

His thumb grazed my hand. I jumped a bit at the sudden contact, but nonetheless, I gave in.

His hand fit in mine quite nicely, but I could never admit that. Could I?

Follow your heart.

One star started shining brighter than the others. I instantly knew that it was my mother.

I will, Mom. I will.

I stole a glance at Tommy again. Do I like this child?

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A/N: I don't know where to go with this, guys! Ideas would be greatly appreciated.

I love y'all. Thank you for 49k reads! Stay hydrated and eat something. Remember to sleep. I'm proud of you. 🤍