She's A Rainbow

19. this lovely, lonely woman ✨🎉

It's officially been two weeks. I lost his yellow heart on Snapchat.

The line is now blurry to me. I can't tell who was in the wrong anymore.

But all I want to do is tell him about the shopping spree for dance dresses we went on. About how I decided last minute to be a bit unconventional and buy a baby blue jumpsuit from Zara. And hear his voice complimenting me on how the outfit makes me look straight out of the sixties again...

...Can't we just forget about it? People have said stuff like that to me numerous times, so what makes Aaron and his friends so different?

Now I'm getting ready for the dance alone in my room, blasting my hopeless romantic playlist again. Back to square one. I look out my window and see an empty parking lot. A parking lot that was supposed to have Aaron's car waiting on the curb. Fuck. It would've all been fine if I hadn't opened my mouth...

But, for some reason, because I'm me, I still have hope that last minute he'll show up on my doorstep, say I'm sorry, then sweep me off my feet and take me to the dance.

I hear my door squeak open. I turn around and see Mama entering.

"Are you ready, baby?"

That one question finally broke the straw on the camel's back. He's not going to come.

I was never one to cry in front of Mama because I didn't want to seem sensitive. Now I'm suddenly pouring tears out of my eyes; smearing my makeup. And gasping for air. Mama immediately gives me a warm hug and I latch onto her neck; burying my face in her shoulders.

"I think I lost him," I choke out in-between coughs.

"I don't think he'll be deterred by one argument you had with him. If he is, he wasn't worth it in the first place." Mama replies.

"I wanted him to be worth it. I wanted him here. I was really hoping we would make up by now..." I whine.

"I know. But I'm going to drive you so you don't have to do it yourself."

"Thank you, Mama."

"Where are you meeting your group?"

"At the entrance." I answer.

That's right, I start to think. I have an amazingly talented group of friends waiting for me by the entrance. A group of friends that I know will be with me and not the revolving door of guys that walk in and out of my life. I need to start focusing on them. I can't control Aaron's actions, but I can control how I react to the situation.

I bring my head back up to the light, and wipe away my tears. I take in a deep breath, and say:

"Okay. I'm ready now. Let's go."

❤️🧡💛💚💙

I step out of Mama's car and hear my heels crunch the dead leaves on the sidewalk. Ahead of me is a long line of students waiting to get into the building. The warm, orange lights inside entice us even more because a bitterly cold breeze blows through us. I shudder, folding my arms together.

Then, I spot the group in the middle of the line. Heaven waves at me to go there. I graze through the crowd and quietly sneak myself into the line. We all huddle together for warmth.

"Bruh it's s-so cold—" Sierra says through chattering teeth.

"At least you have a shawl on..." Iris mentions. I look at her outfit, and she's wearing a sleeveless turtleneck dress that stops at her thighs, and her hair's wrapped in a bun with sparkly, long earrings that dangle like raindrops.