She's A Rainbow

5. they say when you're a star in the movies...

Sierra's Diary
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My eyes get entranced by the star-shaped lights hanging above the burgundy shelf. It's like the vignette filter is tunneling my vision, and it feels extremely relaxing. The same feeling as unclenching your fists. The soft, golden glow puts halos of green into the baby blue wall.

"Sierra? Are you there?"

I pull myself into the desk again, and click the "unmute" button on the zoom screen.

"Yes! I'm here, Elle," I tell my agent.

"Sorry. I'm in LA right now and the connection is really bad in the hotel," her hollow voice explains.

Elle presses her hands together, jangling the gold bracelets on her wrists. "So, I just talked with the executive producer and the casting director today."

I slide up in my chair. "How did it go? Did they like me?"

She nods energetically. "They LOVED you. They said you were almost exactly what they imagined the character to be."

I let a sigh out of my heavy chest. I don't know whether to be flattered or upset. Even though I shouldn't be.

Almost. Almost means it's not secure. Almost means that I'm dangling by a thread because I'm competing with at least a hundred other actresses for the role. What did I do wrong to not make them fully confident in me? Were all those hours I took notes watching Dacre Montgomery and Rachel McAdams's auditions not good enough?

"What's going on, babe? That's a good thing!" Elle reassures me. "You're getting called back next Monday."

My jaw drops. "Are you serious? Oh my god!"

"It's going to be a chemistry test, so prepare to read for multiple characters, alright? I'll email you the sides later."

I can feel tiny knots squeezing my stomach already. Uh oh. I've never been good at chemistry tests.

But I say, "Okay! Thank you so much."

"Yep. Thank you," she says curtly before a "this meeting has ended" message pops up.

I exit out of zoom, and click to a new google document. I plant my hands over the keyboard, ready to type.

journal entree 1
Hi, Heaven! Here's my entry :). My name is Sierra Mizzi. I'm 15 years old, a SAG-AFTRA actress, and I've been signed with DDO Agency since I was thirteen!

I cringe. It sounds like I'm sending a cover letter rather than a diary entry. But am I even allowed to tell her about the role? What if someone hacks my google account and leaks this document, and SAG will find out and kick me to the curb?

I shake my head, I'm being paranoid. I don't have to say anything I don't want to. Then, I continue to tap my fingers on the keys.

Today, I met with my agent and we talked more about the Netflix role I told you guys about. Let's just say...it's really good news.|

After enjoying my few minutes of peace, Annabel, my little sister, bounces into our room.

"Sierra!" She smiles with her gap-teeth. "Someone's moving into the neighborhood right now. He's really cute."

I drift my eyes towards the screen again. "That's cool, Belly."

"What are you doing? You look like an old lady. Mom's gonna be mad if she sees you like that."

She's right. We have shared memories of Mom poking our spines so we can straighten up. Then I hear her scowl under her breath, blaming us for our future back problems. But even if we fix it, she'll just find another problem.