you cannot reach this number ʳᵃⁿᵇᵒᵒ

19

the ride from ford's house to the air bnb that everyone else was in was none the less very awkward. if not for the music i barely recognized (i let ford have the aux. a small act of forgiveness), the half an hour drive would be nothing but silence. as i pulled into the driveway, i saw everyone already outside. some standing, some sitting on the ground or their suitcases. i parked the car, and stepped out as everyone turned their heads to me.

"what?" i asked, "why are you all outside? its freezing cold." i wrapped my arms around myself, trying to shelter from the blistering wind.

"well SOMEONE told the bnb host we'd for sure be out by 8," tommy glared at wilbur, "so we were kicked out because you guys were 30 minutes late."

ford sheepishly scratched the back of their neck, "sorry thats my fault. my māmā had to go through and make sure i packed everything."

"who even needs a whole rice cooker for a road trip?" i chuckled, "one, might i add, is to find someone who's been missing for almost a year."

"if māmā says i need it, i need it," ford shrugged.

the group all looked at ford with cold expressions—well all except niki, who gave them a warm smile, contrasting the rest. soon, everyone put their things in the trunk of the van, cramming it all in with the little space we had.

"phil, kristen, can you guys take the very back of the van?" i asked as everyone began to pile in.

tommy whined, "but tubbo and i wanted to sit back there!"

"who ever sits in the back is on food duty," wilbur ruffled the blonde boy's hair, "there's no way in hell we're trusting you two with that."

tommy rolled his eyes, while tubbo tried to tell him that "its fine", and that they could "sneak some when the old people are pissing at the rest stop".

soon enough, at 9:00 we were all situated in the minivan, and then began our 600 mile trip to portland.

—

4pm rolled in slower than ever, and thus we checked into our first hotel of the trip. after 7 straight hours of driving, we were all exhausted. we all filtered into our respected rooms, phil and kristen were alone together, wilbur and jack shared a room, ford and niki shared, and i was left with the two people i needed the most at the moment, tommy and tubbo.

"what 'y gonna do when you find her?" tommy was messing around with the tv remote, searching through all the features.

"yeah," tubbo agreed from the desk area, he was on twitter. "what will you say?"

i sighed, staring into the board game i was setting up, "if i find her, i'll probably ask her to come home..." i paused, thinking to myself before starting again, "if she says no? then i'll show her the polaroids."

"polaroids? what polaroids?" tubbo turned in the desk chair.

i stepped up from the bed, trying my best not to mess up my hard work of setting up monopoly. i dug around my suitcase, finding a neat ziplock bag. "these polaroids"

i sprawled the three photos out on the pullout couch, where tubbo was going to sleep. the polaroids stared back at me.

one was of coraline at the pier, holding "tedsters", our pink, stuffed bear son, which now sat on my hotel bed. i couldn't sleep without it anymore.

the other was of coraline at the beach. she looked gorgeous, as always. her hair high up in a pony tail. the waves mid-crash against the sandy shore in the background behind a palm tree.

the last one sat too painful to look at. i glanced at it, tearing up.

before i knew it my two best friends wrapped their arms around me in a tight hug, whispering assurances with the off chance of a "bro" or "mate" thrown in them. i appreciated their attempts, but the only hug i needed to help this ever-growing pit inside my gut was from her.