you cannot reach this number ʳᵃⁿᵇᵒᵒ

15

the corpse of an unidentifiable teenage girl was the only recent news story that was glued to my brain. finger prints burnt off, and dental records were impossible to match, seeing as most of the teeth were broken on the impact of the car crash.

thoughts wracked my brain as i stared at my computer screen, the "go live" button taunting me.

with a hefty sign, and minecraft booted up, i clicked it.

"hey chat..." a smile was forced upon my face, despite the fact that no one could see (besides me in the reflection of my monitor. i hated it.)

HEY BIG MAN!!!!
MY STREAMER!!! LETS GOOOOOO
MINING STREAM MINING STREAM MINING STREAM

i laughed slightly, "yeah, today will be a mining stream."

YOOO CORALINE IN CHAT
whos swagmeister42069
COREY!!! WE MISS YOU!!

my breath hitched. my cheeks flushed red and hot tears prickled my eyes.

"oh— oh hey corey—!" my voice shook, i prayed to whatever lies above that no one heard.

hope ur having fun without me :)

an innocent message to some, absolutely heartbreaking to me.

my body trembled. my throat ached. my mouth like a desert.

with the driest laugh, i replied, "you know i couldn't. i'm lost without you."

and then there was no trace of her. no donations, messages, not even lurking in the chat.

but thank god shes not dead

☹ ' , —

even with the confirmation of her being alive, there was nothing we could do. police officially ruled it as a run away, and the private investigators i had hired couldn't find where she was.

the only thing i could be thankful for was the privacy of it all. the general public didn't know anything. chat wasn't concerned. to them, coraline was visiting her family in mexico for a while.

to them she wasn't gone

everyone talked to me with hushed voices. they spoke with soft tones as if i would break at any loud noise. they treated me like an open wound, and they had no idea how to heal it. they left it at wrapping me in the bandage of "im so sorry for your loss."

why do they say it like that?

why do they say i lost her? she isn't dead! its confirmed!

I DIDN'T LOSE HER

I DIDN'T FUCKING LOSE HER

I WON'T LOSE HER

i don't want to lose her