Keep quiet

Him

I got in a fight with him....
He called this girl I knew,
"Fucking pretty"
"Gorgeous"
I bet he thought she was perfect.
Which she is.
Because I'm not even close,
To being as perfect as her.
I just said,
"No I'm not mad, because it's true."
I felt like I lost him because I will never be good enough, I will never be like her.
The thing that he doesn't know is,
I compare myself to the girl he called
"fucking pretty" and "gorgeous"
I compare myself every fuckin day.
When I sent him a picture of me all he said was,
"omfg you're so pretty"
Now I compare myself to her even more because she's better than me and I know it.
The only way I found out,
About what he said about her was...
My friend sent me the screen shots,
From where he was talking to her,
On my friends phone.
She told me I was stupid,
For letting him flirt with her,
And all I said was "I'm not mad."
I know I'm stupid. I know that.
But I keep trying.
I keep wishing.
And maybe one day,
I'll do something that's not stupido
And it'll be wonderful.
I got upset and told him,
I'm going to find something to do,
You go talk to her or something,
He told me he was going to
Do some homework with a friend.
I later texted him.
"I'm done"
His friend responded back,
I didn't know it was her,
Instead of him.
She talked me out of it.
Then she told him,
I really did break up with him.
He got upset.

He sent me this text at 8:00AM saying,
You're *my name*, *his name* favorite ex girlfriend.
I was awake all night.
At about 1:00AM I had asked if he was awake he didn't respond til about 800:AM
At first he made it sound like it wasn't him.
But his brother said,
He was the only one in the room.
He called me his favorite ex girlfriend.

His brother told me,
"He's in his room reading Shakespeare
And telling himself he's so stupid,
That he lost me to a compliment.
And that he was stupid so he should,
Study all night.
But his brother saved us.
He had me ask him out.
He said no at first,
He didn't want to hurt me.
But I told him,
I was already broken.
He told me,
He wanted to put my pieces,
Back together.
His brother was the person that caused me to break up with him the first time, but now he saved us.

But I have this fear.
I think I might love him.
But I'm scared.

Have I made a mistake?
With loving him,
After all that's happened.

Sorry, it's a bit confusing.
If you're reading this,
You're likely not,
You don't even know about this book.
But if you are I want to tell you this is the reason I got mad and,
I think I might love you.