Marvel Smut and One-shots

Avengers x reader (funnyish Oneshot)

A/n: this was so random and weird i'm sorry, i'm on a road trip, sleep deprived and need to pee

"Sven-"

"It's Steve."

"Right, of course so Sven, how you doin'?" You wiggled your eyebrows.

Steve looks at you weirdly, which makes sense because you were currently in cuffs and in an interrogation room.

"Moving on, you murdered 3 people."

"Only 3 people? Bitch if you are gonna accuse me of murder at least make it flattering."

The pirate spoke up, "Are you admitting to murder ma'am?"

"Well not yet, but if someone doesn't get me a burger, I might commit arson."

"Is that a threat?"

You grinned and winked at the cute redhead, "It's a promise."

Captain eyepatch sighed, "Whatever, someone else deal with her."

Everyone in the room looked absolutely horrified at this statement. They all huddled together and started whispering.

"Do we arrest her?"

"I don't know. We have no proof."

"Nat get me out of here."

"Clint, shut up and go to therapy."

"I like her."

"Of course you like her Sam."

"I like her too." You spook from in between the huddle.

"How did you get out of those?"

"I got bored Bonky, deal with it."

"Bonky?" Sven- uh Steve looked at the love of his life- uh friend in confusion.

Bucket rolled his eyes, "The weirdo heard my name wrong and won't let it go."

"Aw stop it, I'm blushing."

"Calling people the wrong name is mean." America's traitor- you meant Steve chided.

"Dorito shut up and go shopping for a size bigger than xs."

Sven looked hurt, "Don't worry punk, you look good."

The age where has given up trying to detain you, wandering over to the redhead you asked, "How did you get your winged eyeliner so perfect, I swear I've poked out my eye out like 7 times."

She gave you a smirk, "I use a dagger to trace."

You very wisely took a step back and we're about to drop to your knees in her presence but you were interrupted.

"Guys, we should get shawarma." The golden-titanium alloy man said.

"The shawarma place was destroyed after the green guy wanted some." You looked over to Dr. Banner in disappointment.

"Damn, that sucks."

They all nodded, grieving the shawarma place.

Some teenage guy walked in. "Hey Tony, you're son is here."

"He is not my son." Tony looked adamant.

The teenage boy started speaking, "Hey dad, I have a question."

"Yes son?"

Everyone rolled their eyes and left the room.

"Uh people, your forgot about me." You yelled. Huffing you said, "At least leave me a cheeseburger."