Breaking Free from Everyday

Chapter 21: Instinct

Chapter 21: Instinct

Melanie

As Parker started speeding away on that God-forsaken motorcycle, I didn't think twice before I took out the keys to my dad's truck and jumped in. I don't know why I went after him, there was no logical reason to be jumping into this car and chasing after this boy, but I couldn't help myself. It was instinctive. I sped right after him, no thought necessary.

I couldn't believe what I did. It was completely reckless. It was sincerely stupid. It definitely caused more problems, and more questions, but I couldn't be happier about it. I was screaming in my head, jumping for joy. I kissed Parker! Holy crapsicles!

I touched my forehead with the back of my hand, checking if I had a fever. Was I okay?

I started to swerve and jerked back into reality. Two hands on the steering wheel. I could see Parker, maybe 200 feet in front of me, just barely visible. I kept my eyes on him. I mean, I kept my eyes on the road. Yes, the road Melanie.

I kept pushing on the gas pedal. I had no idea where we were headed, but I just felt like I couldn't let this moment go. I couldn't lose the sliver of Parker that I just witnessed.

And so, speeding I did.

I can't believe myself. I had such a purpose. Why did I soil my own plan so thoroughly? All I wanted was to help him get home. And maybe, if I was lucky, I could at least a gain little trust from him that might eventually lead to some semblance of friendship, someday. But then he went all loner on me, and I lost my temper, which I always seem to do with him. My emotions never stay in check. Then all of a sudden, he's all sad, and emotional, and I wasn't mad anymore. I was anything but mad. All I wanted was to be close to him. I wanted to see his pretty melty gray eyes up close, and make all that pain disappear.

You're such a hypocrite Melanie! You are the reason for that pain. All you ever do is hurt him, you stupid bitch.

I tried to shut my brain out, but I couldn't. The thoughts were blaring in my head like ambulance sirens, and they wouldn't quiet down. They were true. I was a terrible person. All I ever did was torture him, and I couldn't seem to stop myself from doing it. I felt the tears pool up in my eyes, all at once, clouding my vision.

He was right. I should forget about him. What was I doing? I should stop the car and turn around, but I had to get to Parker. I don't know why, I just had to.

He made a sharp right turn and I followed, going down a dirt path that I had never taken before. I kept my eyes on the road. Not letting my thoughts distract me, I occasionally wiped my eyes with the sleeves of Parker's old sweatshirt that I had pulled on. It always provided me with the comfort that I needed. When I wore this old Panthers sweatshirt, I actually felt like I could breathe, like I didn't have a ton of bricks pressing on my chest.

Suddenly, he stopped. I don't know when it happened, but we were at a beach. Well, more like a little cove. I've lived here my entire life, and yet this place is totally unfamiliar. I had to have traveled the entirety of the shore at least ten times, and I definitely don't remember being here before. There were thin trees, maybe birch, delicately covering the bulk of the landscape. Their cover was thin though, the ocean was easily visible behind their bare branches, as it was late fall, and snow would be coming soon. I could hear the smooth waves lightly breaking on the shore. It was enticing; I never wanted to leave.

I parked my dad's truck behind a tree, about fifty feet away. I don't know why though, I had a feeling that Parker knew that I had followed him here. Parker could be dense, but he was also very perceptive. Hiding was definitely futile. However, I couldn't help finding solace in the fact that we weren't face to face. Now that I was here, I was terrified. It was easy enough to follow, but the thought of confrontation made me want to jump in my dad's plane and fly to Mexico.