Million pieces

9

"Derek" Callie sighed "We cleaned out the wound and we had to take out a bit of bone tissue but I couldn't take everything. I wanna give it a final chance and I need to talk to Meredith once she's awake"

"But she's fine for now? There's a chance-"

"There's a chance we get this infection under control" Callie told him with a small smile

"Daddy? Is mommy awake?" Bailey asked

"We'll see mommy soon. Go wait with Zola and Ellis" Derek told the little boy

"If we can save her leg this will be a long recovery. She might need an experimental treatment, many weeks of rest and months of PT but I'm sure it would be worth it" Callie told him

Derek nodded. His head was spinning, he had no clue how to deal with all of this "Thanks"

Callie nodded and took off

"Why don't we go get some ice cream and then we can go see mommy" Addison suggested

"Thank you" Derek mouthed and waved at the kids as they took off, all having smiles on their faces.

"Derek?" Miranda walked up to him

"Can I see her?" He asked her with tears in his eyes

"Sure, let's go" Miranda said and took him to Meredith's room. The breathing tube was already removed but she was peacefully asleep

"Go, Shep" Bailey smiled at him and Derek nodded

He grabbed Meredith's good hand and started talking to her "Oh Mer.. I hate this, I hate it!" He sobbed "The kids wanna come over later but Callie needs to talk to you.. I don't know what you'll do, Mer but I'll support you in whatever decision you make" He kissed her hand and sat down in the chair

A little while later, Meredith regained consciousness

"Hey you" Derek smiled at her

For a minute, Meredith forgot that she wasn't able to talk and tried to open her mouth. She sighed as she remembered and let her fingers brush past the wires that kept her jaw closed.

"In a few days they're gonna remove them" Derek smiled at her

She seemed to send a smile in return before she grabbed the marker

'Surgery?' She quickly wrote down, being sick of communicating this way

"Callie is on her way to explain" He kissed her lips

On that moment, Callie knocked on the door, scaring Meredith a bit from the sudden noise

"Hey, Meredith" Callie smiled a bit but it was staged "We.. should talk"

Meredith nodded and frowned and immediately grabbed Derek's hand. A million of thoughts went through her head

'Do I even have my leg at this point?' She asked herself but didn't have the strength to pull away the blanket or write that question down on the white board so she kept quiet. Derek's fingers brushed her hair and gave her a bit of the comfort she desperately needed at this point.

"I was able to save your leg-" Callie started and Meredith sighed in relief "-but it doesn't look good, Meredith. The infection did it's damage. I took away a lot of bone tissue which would lead into a painful and long recovery with unknown outcome as it's experimental. The only other option is for me to amputate-"

Meredith's eyes grew wide and she started to sob. Derek desperately tried to calm her down to not let this lead into a panic attack

'I can't think right now' She wrote down as her sobs started to quiet down

Derek stood up and carefully sat down on the left side of her body and held her close in his embrace

"Shh, I'm here" He whispered "We'll figure this out together"

"I'm gonna come back later this afternoon" Callie said and quietly left the room

'I'm sorry for all of this' She wrote down

"Mer, don't-" He started but she was already writing something else down

'The ring, this, you, the kids'

Derek had no clue what she meant with most of this. 'Didn't she know that he and the kids just want her to be okay and that they wanna be here to help her? Why is she blaming herself again? And what's with the ring?' He thought to himself but he wasn't gonna ask now. He knew she would get upset by writing everything down. In less than a few days she would be able to talk again.

"Shut your mind, Meredith" He said as she brushed away her tears that kept rolling down her cheeks

'What do you think?' She wrote down

"About your leg?" He asked her and she nodded slightly

"Mer, you need to do whatever feels best to you. Both options will be long and painful but me, the kids and our friends will be here whatever happens." He told her

'Risks of the experimental one?' She wrote down as a question

"That your body won't accept the donated bone tissue, partly paralisis, another infection and these can also lead to amputation.." He sighed

Meredith nodded. She couldn't decide this in a couple of minutes. She needed to think about all of this

Derek's phone started ringing, it was Addison. Asking what she should do with the kids

"Wait a minute" He said "Mer, do you want the kids to come over? Otherwise maybe Alex-"

'Let them come in please' She quickly wrote down

"Addi.. yeah can you drop them off at Mer's room please?" He asked her "Thanks, bye"

"They're coming" He smiled a bit when he looked at Meredith who nodded

"I love you" He said and kissed the top of her head quickly"

She buried her face in his chest and squeezed his hand as they waited for the kids. Both their minds are running crazy with thoughts of what they should do now but unable to have a proper conversation about it

AN // Okay so I still haven't decided what to do next so I need your help bcs I can't make this decision. So which option do you prefer and by the amount of votes I'll see what I'll do and if anyone has any ideas, feel free to let me know!

1) Meredith's leg will get amputated

2) Meredith tries the experimental treatment but it fails or is too painful or whatever and it needs to get amputated

3) Meredith decides to try the experimental treatment, is up for a long and painful recovery but will be able to keep her leg