Million pieces

15

It's been weeks since Meredith was cleared for PT and ever since she daily did her exercises, she went to PT, they even bought bars for Meredith to practice at home

"Come on, Meredith" Lucy kept cheering

"No, stop. Please, it hurts" Meredith started crying and let go of the bars, throwing herself back in her wheelchair

"Okay, take a short break and then we'll try again" Lucy smiled

"This isn't gonna work" Meredith muttered

"Come on, Meredith. Don't get discouraged!" Lucy said as she rubbed Meredith's shoulders

"It won't work" Meredith muttered again as her hand was resting on her thigh

"Don't start thinking negative, Meredith" Lucy kneeled down next to her

"This isn't negative thinking. This is realistic thinking" Meredith spat out and wheeled away from Lucy, refusing her touch

"Is there someone I have to page?" Lucy asked

"Can you page Derek?" Meredith asked with a vulnerable voice

"I will" Lucy said and left the room

"Lucy?" Meredith could heard a men's voice

"I- no, please.. Please leave! Don't hurt me" Meredith said and shielded her arms in front of her

The male nurse didn't know what's happening. Derek ran in and immediately send the nurse away before running to Meredith

"Hey, hey. It's okay, he's gone" Derek grabbed her hand but she flinched and pulled her hand away

"Mer, it's me. Derek" Derek tried to calm her down

After a couple of minutes, Meredith's eyes started to focus again

"Mer? Did you hurt yourself?" Derek asked her

"I think I'm okay" She whispered as she was catching her breath

"Let's go see if your psychiatrist has a free spot" Derek said

...

"Mer, we're home" Derek whispered and grabbed her hand

"Okay" She sighed and opened the door of the car

Derek made his way to her side and carried her inside of the house

"I don't think it worked" Meredith mumbled before Derek walked to close the front door

"Why?" Derek asked

"I just feel it. I'm in constant pain. Callie has a look on her face and I don't know.." Meredith whispered

"Hey, let's wait a bit longer" Derek kneeled down next to her

"Derek, I should have been able to stand up a week ago. I still can't put any weight on it"

"Wanna try again tonight?" Derek asked but Meredith shook her head

"What if my bones refuse to heal? Derek, I don't know if I can be an amputee.." Meredith showed her vulnerability

"Mer, if that's what has to be done, you'll be fine. If your bones don't heal, an amputation will be best anyway, you'll have way more opportunities" Derek said and rubbed her good leg

"I know.. I just- how?" Meredith started to sob

"Maybe you should meet with Arizona if that's the case? Maybe talk to her about what you're scared of" Derek held her close as Meredith nodded

"The kids will be so scared.. they already reacted scared when it was just the casts, I can't imagine what it will do when I lose my leg" Meredith opened up

"The kids? That's what you're scared of? Meredith, they love you and it will be scary but Sophia deals with it just fine too. Ours will too if that's the case" Derek told her and grabbed her hand "As long as you'll be able to chase them again in the future, they will be fine with it. I don't think they would want you in pain and braced and fixators for another 5 to 10 years because your bones keep collapsing" Derek tried to give her courage

"I hope" Meredith sighed

"Close your eyes for a bit. You're exhausted" Derek said as he kissed her temples

"I love you" She whispered

"I love you too" He whispered back and held her close in his embrace, trying to let her feel comfortable