Innocent To Bold [On Hold]

10

Shivani

I turned to look at him who was already looking at me in an intense gaze.

“Nikhil?” he just hummed clearing my strangled of hair from my face and tucked behind my ear.

“let’s take our relationship to another level.” He stopped the movement of his hand.

“Do you know what you’re talking about, Vani?”

“Yes, I know.” I said it confidently without breaking our eye contact.

“Don’t look at me like that Vani. You don’t know how I’m controlling my emotions around you.”

“Then don’t control your emotions, Nikhil.”

“Don’t tempt me because I’m not good when it comes to patience. But after you have entered my life, I’m somehow convinced me to not act reckless around you. You know why because I don’t want to scare you. You don’t deserve it. You deserve love, happiness.”

“Then love me, Nikhil.”

“Are you sure about the whole thing?”

“Yes, I want to forget his touch. Remove his bad touch from me, please. Touch me Nikhil.”

“No, you’re not on your right mind. I can’t do this.”

“I’m on my right mind. I want to remember your touch. only yours. Make love to me Nikhil. I’m requesting you.”

“Shhhh. don’t do this ever. After what happened with you, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I bring you here to heal to forget the bad days. You’re still scared of that. So, I think it would be better if we wait.”

“I want to but not tonight, Vani.” I didn’t ask but question gaze at him. Am I not good enough? Or is it because he loved someone else? Or because he didn’t want to marry me at first? “It’s nothing like you’re thinking. Don’t stress your smart brain. It’s because I’m not prepared.” Again, I didn’t get what he is saying.

“We don’t have any protection. If you don’t want to pregnant so soon then stop it here.” This made me shy and I’m embarrassed. He is so blunt. My cheeks heated up. I think it’s already crimson red.

Ok, I didn’t think about that. About protection. This made me think am I really not on my right mind, like he said?

All I’m thinking how to get rid of the touches, the bad memories. Now, Nikhil must be thinking me as a desperate woman.

“Do I look like a desperate woman, Nikhil?” I guess, I thought it loud.

*****

Nikhil

“What are you talking about, Vani? Leave that. Tell me, why are you thinking like that?” I asked her in my hoarse tone. Why does she always think like that, I don’t get it? As a woman as my wife she can ask me anything, right? I’m her husband not some neighbourhood aunty who judge every step you take. On that basis every man and woman would be desperate in front of their respective husband and wife. Right?

“If you’re thinking yourself as a desperate woman then what am I?” I can see her questioning gaze. “Am I desperate to you too if I say I want to touch you, feel and kiss you until we run out of breath, huh?” her face grew red which was already pink colour. Her heart thump rapidly against ribcage. She whispered a No.

After hearing that without wasting a second, I pulled her already grabbed waist and place her on my lap and kissed her on lips. After couple of seconds when she didn’t respond I lifted her chin towards me “Kiss me back Vani” I smirked seeing her surprised and shy face because of my sudden movement. But what can I do? I can’t control my emotions. And I don’t like it when someone do that too.