ambivalent | hes

28

Once the police cars drove away, my mom pulled up next to me. I climbed into the car, stunned and confused. I couldn't think straight. My thoughts were just jumbled together in a big mess.

Could we bail him out? Maybe we could. I never really knew how much it would cost, but I'll do whatever it takes to get him out. And if we can't, I would visit him everyday. But why did they take him in? That's the question that kept coming to mind, and I desperately needed an answer.

I didn't say anything for the rest of the short drive home, and neither did my mom. I would keep the questions in until we got home so I didn't have to do this in the car.

She pulled into the driveway, and I grabbed my bag and quickly walked inside. I sat on the couch, and my mother joined me. I asked the one question that was on my mind right away.

"Mom, why did they arrest him?" I had a feeling the situation she was keeping from me involved what had just occurred.

"I know you love Harry, but what I'm going to tell you may hurt you. A lot, in fact. But you need to know, and I'm sorry sweetie." She said calmly.

"Stop apologizing and just tell me already!" I didn't care about the other bull shit, I just wanted my question answered.

"Lyla," she paused, letting out a breath. "Harry killed someone."

I couldn't have heard her right. She didn't just say that Harry, my Harry killed someone. He would never do that, he's not the type. Who would he kill? The only person I could think of was Tyler, but he was locked away behind bars. Just like Harry would be.

"That can't be possible." I replied. Maybe she was lying. But she wouldn't lie about something this serious.

"Im sorry, Lyla. He turned himself in yesterday."

"No, no Harry would never kill anyone. He would never do that. Stop lying to me!" I refused to accept it. It's all a lie. This is just a dream. It had to be.

I got up, walking back and forth across the living room. My heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't hold back the tears that were falling down my face. My mom walked over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"We can bail him out, right? We have the money. You're a lawyer, mom. You have to do something!" I practically begged her.

"Listen to me, Lyla. I haven't even told you everything yet. You just need to calm down." She said.

"What? Calm down? You're telling me to calm down when the man I love is in prison for killing someone? You expect me to relax?" I was yelling. I couldn't help myself. So many emotions were going through me at once and I couldn't control my actions.

"Lyla, he killed your father!" 

The room went silent, my mind went silent. This all had to be a dream. I was asleep, imagining all of this. Tomorrow I'll wake up in Harry's arms and everything will be okay.

Reality finally started kicking in, and I felt my body begin to weaken. My mind processed everything my mother had told me and I fell to my knees. I couldn't help but cry out. This was all too much to handle. After years of endless searching, we've found the culprit, the one responsible for taking my father's life. Harry. The boy who took me on gondola rides and movie dates. The one who gave me one of my first intimate experiences in a bathroom during a family dinner. The one who I had fallen for. But now, I have no idea how I felt about him. Of course I was angry, infuriated, but at the same time I felt heart broken. I held this boys hand which was also used to take away my father's life. And I would have to face him in the courtroom since my mother would be the one arguing the case. That is, if I even decide to go.