ambivalent | hes

19

"Yes mom, I'm okay." I lied when my mother asked if I was fine that night when she called.

Well, it wasn't a complete lie. Tyler was out of my life, but Harry was in the hospital. The injury wasn't enough to kill him, but the cut was still pretty deep. He would be fine. Hopefully.

But that's what I felt like I had lost lately. Hope. One second it seemed like my life was okay, that everything was going to be just fine. Then, something happened, causing all of that hope to go crashing down into oblivion.

It was like a roller coaster. You get this big adrenalin rush when you first get on and you go up that huge hill. You get to the top and you look down at all the smiling faces watching you, and suddenly the cart jerks you forward and you're speeding down the other side of the hill. You can't think, all you can do is scream because of the rush but then too soon the ride is over and it just starts all over again.

It started when my dad got the cancer. My mother and I were devastated, and we knew one day he was going to have to leave us. He did, then I was diagnosed with the same exact thing he had. But we were given a pill. And then it didn't seem all too bad. We moved to a bigger, better house in a beautiful town and my mother got her dream job as a lawyer. I met Bea and everything was amazing. I lost my job, met Harry but then Tyler came and left and now Harry's in the hospital.

I know a big leap of happiness should occur next, but if my life was going to take the same pattern it had been, something bad would follow after that. Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. But life is full of surprises.

"I should be coming home in two weeks." My mother informed me.

"Okay." I replied.

But then I realized she didn't know about Harry. I'd have to introduce them, and maybe she'd like him...

"But mom." I said, ready to tell her about Harry.

"Yeah?"

I paused. I don't know how she'd react since she hadn't met him yet. So maybe it could wait.

"Have a safe flight home." I said instead.

"Thanks sweetie, see you then."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and set it on the counter, sighing.

I checked the time. 7:36. 24 minutes until I could visit Harry. I got up and went upstairs. I changed into some comfy shorts and the sweater Harry gave me the day we first met, then headed to the hospital.

When I arrived, the guy at the front desk informed me that Harry was on the fifth floor in room 203 when I had asked. I took the elevator up, and after a bit of searching, I found his room.

I put my hand on the doorknob, then stopped. What would he look like? It would be so sudden to see the boy who always had a smile on his face to be lying in a hospital bed with tubes and wires connected to him.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and pushed open the door.

Harry was asleep, the heart monitor beeping as he breathed. Someone had removed his shirt and the cut had been stitched up. I let out a sigh of relief. That was a good sign.

I pulled a chair up to his bedside and sat down, grabbing one of his hands. I smiled when I saw that his eyebrows were knitted together as he slept. I kissed his cheek and then I examined his cut.

It was probably about three inches long, positioned right below his ribs. There were about ten stitches holding it together and it already seemed to have shown a bit of improvement.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and the doctor walked in.

"You must be Lyla." He said when he saw me.

"Yes, how do you know my name?" I questioned.

"He mumbles it in his sleep." He told me, nodding towards Harry.

I smiled, looking back at the curly haired boy.

"You came at a good time. He should wake up soon."

I thanked the doctor and he left the room.

After an hour of waiting and mindlessly scrolling through pictures of Harry and I on my phone, I finally fell asleep, Harry's hand held tight in mine. But what seemed like hours later I was startled awake by the feeling of something leaving my hand. When I opened my eyes, Harry was awake, a huge smile on his face. And I couldn't help but grin at the sight of seeing those dimples again.

"Good morning." He said, carefully sitting up.

"Morning. How do you feel?" I asked.

"A lot better. How long have you been here, babe?"

"Since 8 last night." I told him.

He nodded, looking out the hospital window.

It always surprised me how even though you could wake up in a hospital bed in a bad condition, looking out the window and seeing the view of the world outside could always kind of make you feel better. And maybe Harry felt that too, because the smile wouldn't leave his face as he stared out at the busy streets of LA below.

The door opened, and the doctor from last night walked in.

"It's good to see you're awake." He said to Harry as he set his clipboard down on the counter.

"It's good to be awake." Harry replied.

The doctor laughed before saying,
"So I have some good news."

Harry and I looked at him intently, impatiently waiting for him to continue.

"You'll be able to leave in the next two to three days, as long your wound heals correctly."

I let out a sigh of relief. That was a good sign.

"It's going to leave a scar, obviously, but your girlfriend won't mind, right?" The doctor said, making Harry and I laugh.

"A nurse will be in shortly to check the stitches, and depending on the progress it's made, we'll determine when we should remove them. Any questions?"

"Yeah, may we get some breakfast please?" Harry asked.

The doctor chuckled and nodded, then left the room.