ambivalent | hes

26

I woke up early the next morning. I hadn't gotten much sleep that night, so that surprised me. When I went downstairs, my mother was in the kitchen. My pills were on the island, along with eggs, toast, and milk. I quickly took the pills before eating the food.

"When do you plan on going over to see Harry?" My mother asked.

"After I'm done eating." I replied.

"Just give him some time. He doesn't seem like the type to be upset about something for too long." She reassured me.

I smiled and pulled her into a hug, then quickly washed my dishes and put them away and went upstairs to shower.

I changed into jean shorts, a black t shirt and white vans before grabbing my bag and heading outside.

When I reached Harry's house, I made my way up his porch and stopped once I reached the front door. Slowly raising my hand, I knocked three times before stepping back, waiting for an answer. Maybe he wasn't home. I sighed, knocking again, this time louder than before. I looked around in search of his car. The black vehicle was parked in the driveway so he had to be home. I reached for the door knob, hoping it was unlocked. Luckily, it was. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me.

The house was silent. I checked in the living room and the kitchen, but Harry was nowhere to be seen. I then went upstairs, going straight to his bedroom.

"Harry?" I said once I reached his door.

No answer.

I opened the door, but stopped in the doorway. Harry was sitting on the edge of his bed, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. His hair was messy as if it hadn't been brushed or washed, and he was wearing only his boxers.

"Harry.." I breathed.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

A tear streamed down my cheek as he spoke those words. I hated seeing him like this.

I went over to him, sitting down beside him on the bed.

"You shouldn't be here." He said, not moving from his position.

"Harry, please. Just look at me." I begged.

He sighed, slowly sitting up. His eyes met mine and the sight broke my heart. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he looked sad. Really sad. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he flinched at my touch, but he didn't hug me back. His reaction caused an aching feeling in my chest and I pulled away.

"Can we please talk?" I asked, looking down at my lap.

"I just..I just need some time to myself, Lyla." He said.

"But Harry-" I tried, but he cut me off.

"Please, just go home." He said softly.

Another tear escaped my eye as his words pierced my heart. I swallowed the lump in my throat before standing up, but as I began to walk away, Harry grabbed my wrist. He pulled me back down into his lap and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was more desperate this time. He wrapped his arms tightly around me as I fisted his hair. I could taste the salt from my tears, or maybe they were his. It didn't last very long and Harry pulled away, his eyes searching mine.

"Do...do you want me to stay?" I whispered.

He nodded, and that was all I needed.

We laid down on his bed and Harry pulled me back against him, his chest to my back.

He played with my hair and I watched as his long fingers twisted the ends around them.

"Harry?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to talk about it?" I questioned.

He was quiet before saying,

"Not right now. I just want to be here with you, holding you." He spoke.

My heart warmed at his words. I turned around to face him. A tear left his eye and I quickly wiped it away.

Eventually I kicked off my shoes and threw my bag on the floor and we just laid there in each others arms for what seemed like hours. Sooner or later, I fell asleep. I didn't wake up until around dinner time.

When I opened my eyes, Harry was gone. I yawned, getting out of bed in search for him. After a bit of looking around, I found him in the backyard. He had a large, square tent set up. I slid open the back door, stepping out onto the porch. He looked up at me, saying,

"Come here, babe."

I smiled, walking over to where he stood. He took my hand, opening the entrance of the tent for me. When I stepped inside, the first thing I saw was Netflix being projected onto the side of the tent. Then, my eyes led me to the blankets and pillows that covered the floor, and the picnic basket in the middle.

"Harry, this is so nice." I said, smiling up at him.

"I thought it would make up for being so, uh, distant." He replied.

"It does." I kissed his cheek and he led me to the middle of the blankets.

We sat in the middle and, after debating on what to watch, turned on Love Actually, again.

We ate the dinner Harry put together and then just laid together on the blankets and pilllows. A few hours later, it had gotten dark and Harry and I were just watching Friends.

I looked up at him. His green eyes seemed less swollen than they were earlier, but they were slowly beginning to close. I kissed his cheek and his eyes opened more. I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes as he covered pulled a blanket over us.

"I love you, Harry." I said as his strong arms snaked around me.

"I love you too baby. So much." He replied, kissing the top of my head.

I had been in love before, but it wasn't the same as what I felt for Harry. It was much stronger, even if we had only known each other for a while. I had fallen for him, and fast. When he spoke those words that night we ran into Tyler, I couldn't have felt happier, regarding the situation we were in.

Harry fell asleep and I studied his face. His eyebrows were knitted together as his chest moved up and down below me. He looked so beautiful, even if he had just spent the last day and a half locked in his house alone. I would have to talk to him about that tomorrow. I needed to know what made him so upset.

I eventually felt my eyelids becoming heavy and I pulled the blanket over us more. My eyes soon closed and I drifted off.